OK, so I looked, I searched, I strained. Nope. Lots of
discussion on the subject, but nothing that actually discusses how to do it. We've been
very lazy noders. Now, it's not that I consider myself so proficient that I want to tell folks how I do it. Nor is it because I need votes. Instead, it's because
I would have liked to know what the hell I was doing my first time, and well, this kind of
research is fun. Admittedly, I'm a woman, I have no
penis, and I'm doing this off of, well, what I've been told. (End requisite disclaimers.) With that in mind I give you...
How to give a Blow Job
"You know how to whistle, don't you?..."
References (because sometimes you can learn a thing or two from books. These are just a few of the many references):
Attitude, please:
I don't care where I heard it from, everyone said that the best way to please a man in this respect is to embark with the right attitude. Want to give him pleasure in an oral fashion. Pay attention. His penis had better be your friend if you're doing this. Indeed, if you don't want to do this, Why are you?
Basic Techniques:
They tend to fall into three categories:
- Mouth Only -This is a good place to start if he isn't fully erect. Put his entire penis in your mouth while you suck and lick. Don't start moving your mouth up and down until he's at least partially erect. Another mouth technique is to repeatedly suck in his not-yet-but-soon-to-be erect penis and then follow with a swallowing motion, allowing for his entire penis to be in your mouth. Just because it isn't fully erect yet doesn't mean it doesn't feel good, you know?
- Mouth and Tongue - Lick the whole tip, and use your tongue to lick up and down the sides. This will help get his erection slick enough to slide into your mouth easily. Make sure you cover your teeth with your lips, and glide the head of his penis into your mouth. At this point you can use your tongue to lick the sensitive spot underneath the ridge of the head. One book suggested that the lick you use here should be like the kind of lick you would take of your favorite ice cream. From here you can proceed down the shaft as far as you can go. Don't worry if it isn't all the way - your mouth isn't necessarily as deep as his cock is long. Relax your jaw and neck as much as possible, and remember to breathe, through your nose if you can. This will help to minimize the possibility of gagging. When you pull your mouth back, pull it up the entire length right over the ridge of the tip, or even take it out of your mouth for a second- this is another opportunity to breathe. Then go on back for more. Try to avoid jerky, abrupt movements - and a glass of water nearby is handy. Keeping your tongue in motion is a good idea as well. You have it conveniently located, you might as well play with it. As for suction, you aren't going to be able to really suck his entire length- you just aren't built that way. You can suck on the head though, and a particularly interesting question can be asking him to suck on your finger as strongly as he would like you to suck on his head. Adjust your sucking accordingly.
- Mouth and Hands - Hands can be remarkably useful - they add variety, they can play with other parts, and they can make up for whatever you can't take into your mouth. One hand at the base of the penis, with the thumb and forefinger circling the shaft can not only help keep him erect and in position, but can keep the foreskin out of your way if he happens to be uncircumcised. With the other hand make the same ring with the thumb and forefinger, but use this one against your lips to follow the movement of your mouth up and down. (I've seen this called the Seal and the Ring) You can also coordinate a mouth stroke with a hand stroke as if giving him a hand job. But the hands (or mouth) need not stay there! As long as one is paying attention to his penis, feel free to use the other to explore his thighs, stomach, balls, ass, perineum (that spot between the scrotum and the anus) and whatever else you can reach. Watch out though, when playing with his balls, be gentle. You can be more firm if and when he requests it. You can even take one (or if your mouth is big enough, both) of his testicles in your mouth instead of simply licking or stroking them (referred to as Tea Bagging I'll never look at my Earl Grey the same way.) . Your hand can be particularly useful if you find yourself about to gag - let your hand do the work and give yourself time to recover before going back down.
Putting it all together:
Those basic techniques are excellent to build on, and are really all you need to give a good blow job, provided you've both entered into it with the right attitude and you're paying attention to what he does and doesn't like. (Stop being shy and talk to each other! You're putting your mouth on his penis, and he's putting his penis near your teeth. You obviously trust each other somewhat.) Don't be afraid to pause the action to give him a chance to cool off. Delaying orgasm is not a bad thing. When you approach his climax, his testicles will tighten up against his body. Don't be afraid to go a little faster or harder here, just don't get sloppy. Then comes the moment of your big decision:
spit or swallow?
I don't care what you've been told, gentlemen, not everyone can swallow. Some people, yes, can and choose not to, but that can be based on a variety of things and you should be happy you are being favored with a blow job to begin with. It has nothing to do with you if your semen isn't swallowed. It's just a choice. As for people who do (or want to) a couple things to remember are
- You are swallowing bodily fluid. Please, please, please be careful. Make sure your partner is clean and healthy, and by this I mean tested for HIV. Not something you want to worry about at that moment.
- What he puts into his body - food, cigarettes, coffee, alcohol, whathaveyou may affect the taste. If you're concerned about the taste, swallow it in one gulp, that way it'll pass your taste buds quickly. And please, for his sake, don't look disgusted by it.
- And if you're curious, from what I've read the average ejaculate has about 6 calories.
If you choose not to:
- If you want to finish with your hand, go ahead. I'm not doing instructions on hand jobs here. Someone else will have to node that. I've read that some guys really like to watch themselves come and this may be a better choice for you if that's his preference. He can see it all and not do any work.
- If you want to finish in your mouth, don't make a huge show of spitting it out. Make smooth exit to the bathroom or have a tissue handy that you can unobtrusively spit into.
Advanced techniques: I'll write some of these up elsewhere in the name of saving space.
Finishing the Job:
When is a good job finished? I don't know. That depends on you. It could be when he's done, it could be when he's reciprocated, it could be when you both collapse into unconsciousness four days from now. It could be simply a kiss after his orgasm, or cleaning him up, or what have you.
Here's Adoxograph's Philosophy on Sex: If some nice person is going to be nice enough that they will take off their clothes with you and let you play naked with them, you might as well make sure you both have fun. Of course, with imagination you can expand on this immeasurably. I hope you do. Please feel free to add any other techniques that have been missed. I hope someone finds this helpful...