It doesn't seem like the proper season for rain here in California. But it's drizzling outside right now. And it's a really good sort of rain, too. It's not the kind that would make you miserable and soggy if you stood in it for a while. Instead there's just enough rain for you to know it's there. When I stand on my patio the gentle gusts of wind that blow by are refreshing because they carry a light mist of water.
The rain makes me love her more. And I feel sad that she can't be here to experience it with me. Just a few moments standing on the patio with me, with me wrapping my arms around her as we feel the refreshing gusts of wind... It would just be so wonderful to be able to share such things with her constantly.
I had a beautiful weekend watching her laugh and smile over and over again as I told her silly things and entertained her. And I never feel better than when she's asleep beside me curling up and hugging her pillow so sweetly as she writhes around blissfully having dreams. And when she said she loved me too, it might have been because I said it first and because she was a little buzzed thus making it seem expected of her to say so. But I'd like to think otherwise. I'd like to think she does love me as much as I love her. And I'd like to think that some day soon things will work so she can accept my offer to move in and live with me.
Then the next time that I go outside and discover that it's raining, I'll be able to share it with her. And I'll get yet another chance to see her laugh and smile.