What the hell is wrong with me?
I can't even get her to acknowledge that I exist anymore. She won't even let me talk to her. She never talks to me. I just go through life constantly wishing she'd for once reach out to me, and be my friend. Just forgive the fact that I don't act like some super dynamic, alpha male sort of guy. And perhaps appreciate the fact that I just have this huge and uncontrollable desire to be a part of her life, to give her support when she's sad, and to help her out of her lonely existence. I don't know how she sits in her room alone with her computer all the time. It's driving me insane not hearing her sweet voice. Just a late night phone call to just talk. Anything. It brings such peace to my heart when she lets me do that. But everytime, I just can't help it. I just have to keep trying to get a little more than just hearing her voice. I have to ask her to see me, to jump all the way from hating me to being my friend. I don't know how to naturally get there. I don't know how to get the patience to do that.
Is it so disgusting to a girl to have someone in her life who likes her, whether she likes them back or not, but just to have someone to talk to? To hang out with? To spend time with out on the town and live life with? To just take the risk that maybe I am a good friend?
This hurts more than anything, that I can't even say hello to her. And she never says hello to me, either. I wish I could just erase the last 6 months from my mind. Because then I might not feel so incredibly broken.