Hmm. My experience at the Compound on Saturday. How to describe.


I met fifty gajillion noders. Okay well actually only more like fifty. And I remember every damn face. And even a couple real names. (What good are those?) The mood of this party was loud, hyper, and silly. I didn't really get to have anything approaching a meaningful conversation with anyone, which was completely fine because everyone seemed like people you could have one with, yet who'd rather be having fun. I sound a lot more intelligent when I'm not IRL anyway.

I took four color rolls of pics, plus two more that didn't happen because I'm so stupid I forgot how to load my own damn camera. I had no flash, but since I used 800 speed film they all exposed well. However, I couldn't focus correctly either and very few of these images do not reflect a state of hazy drunkardism. Odd, since I was dead sober. Okay, so where to begin?

My place is ludicrously close to the Compound. You can walk it in about half an hour, but I took the subway and arrived at around 8:30. Jane and Chris, who I already knew, greeted me at the door dressed all formal-like. Jane (whose black dress ended up on Mike about an hour later) literally took me by the hand and swept me down the hall past Jared, and into the main room. My oh my. Makes my place look like a dump. But I have DVD and surround sound fuckers!! =P

Half an hour early and there were around twenty people there. Maybe half of them were non-noders, and the number of non-noders did not increase greatly as the night wore on. I said FIE on thee, non-noders, I do not wish to meet thee. My goal was to introduce myself to every single noder there and I think I came pretty damn close.

I goggled at the wall of jp's robots, by which sat David and Josh. They told me what little they could about Florida but it appears to have been largely untranslatable. At this point I also met Gamaliel and JayBonci. Big chucklebears. Jeremiah and I discussed the sequel to The Dark Knight Returns (which we both picked up at a Frank Miller signing -- yep, knew him too).

At 9 pm sharp the lights went down in the city and it was funkay. mkb, Jess, and mkb's non-noding friend who was also a dj, arrived and hauled decks and vinyl up to Bad Andy's loft space. Andy, freshly shorn, was also dressed formal-like (but this would change DRASTICALLY) and was stuffing his large hookah for the fragrant tobacco pleasures of himself and others.

Chris #2 and Jenny, who I knew already, showed up with shark teeth for Josh #1 (who I ALSO knew already) and mini-dinosaurs for some non-noder, trinkets courtesy of The Metropolitan Museum of Natural History. Chris had his acoustic guitar with an amp, and brought it up the ladder for to jam with the DJs. Keith (that dude I've known since before E2 existed) also took a turn on the strings, with equally pleasurable results.

Keith also brought Jack (another friend of ours from school), who was psyched to finally meet fellow subway freaks Jared and Chris #2. We also got our practically non-noder friends Ethan and Rene to come, and they were highly impressed by the quality of the "geek" party.

I talked with Meta quite a bit (she knows I can't spell or pronounce her real name), though she seemed content to mostly sit and observe. Once galt showed up, those two got pretty cozy, and I took some pervy pics which have mysteriously disappeared from my prints. One thing about Meta: When she laughs, she uses her whole body, which you don't see enough. Just don't be standing too close, or you could get hurt.

These words also apply to Dee, who arrived oh-so-fashionably late with Scott and Josh #3 (who was withdrawn enough for me to assume non-noderdom). Uh, so like I was saying, around 5:30 Dee starting flinging her balls around the room and whacked me in the head twice. She used kink as a defense and I claimed lack of consensuality = abuse. All she had to do was ask. She also pierced Carla's tongue but then you probably know about that.

Um um um. What else. Met Jared #2 (I got a good pic of him napping with ->), Bart (whose face lit up when I asked him about his Star Wars Legos -- for some reason I didn't get to tell him about the zillions that I have), Miller (twice, and his name is pronounced "reindeer"), drunkenmonkey (who had the closest thing to a nametag out of anyone), Jenn (noders share both of her names), Aaron (he didn't get to be tied up this time), April (it's pronounced like "on sate"), Kara (um...crap, I didn't really talk to her much, did I) and Suzy (that thing through her lip is cool, but how does she make out with it in? Dangerously, I guess).

D'oh! I forgot to mention the birthdays of Kit and Rob. They each had a yummy cake and wielded their respective knives with skill. Actually, in the low light they looked a little similar and I almost mixed them up a couple times. Uh, but I didn't. I gave Kit my roll of black and white 400 speed film and I hope he did some good with it. I know I wouldn't have.

Eric gets his own paragraph cuz he's got mad leet ninja skillz like that. His long hair obscured his face in all of his homenode pics of himself, which made me suspect he had some huge hideous scar. Unfortunately not. He was one of the few people there who knows my noding personality (I think, kinda, maybe) since he gave the first C! to one of my highest ranked writeups. Anyway, though I didn't really get to say it, it was pretty cool to meet him. Funny catbox nonsense and useful information goes a long way.

A little after four we were all still going strong but many of us needed foodal nourishment. We took a stroll down to the corner deli where Christa and me could not get the mean man to serve us eggs even though the menu EXPLICITLY STATED that he could. I discovered that time travel will solve all your problems. I brought back a box of cookies for all but mostly me.

Who else, who else. Jennifer and Matt both showed up late and my but they're a matched set of flirtballs. She claimed to have come straight from work but that top makes me dubious. Both smart and funny. Didn't get to talk to them enough. (But then those three things were true of everyone here.) Even later (like 5:15, seriously), was Dave, who I met before and who I think is named after his pan.


qousqous wins the award for Most Miles Travelled to Party. He came here from freakin' Oregon. And since Andy is shorn, he must cede the afro crown to qousy, who resembles Sideshow Bob more than anyone I've ever shaken hands with. Except without all the attempted murder. Uh, I hope. Now crux and spacklequeen (who is a dude), they seem like the quiet type.

Thanked Cow Of Doom personally for inventing the node tracker, and met his girlfriend snowy, who crashed pretty early. I am stunned she managed to sleep through that racket.

I was downstairs talking to sockpuppet when the green Saran Wrap got broken out. Bikini tops for Meta, Chii, and Moxie (hey, that sounds like some twisted sorority). And then, horrifyingly, diapers for Bad Andy and Josh #2. Andy had enough spare room in his to store his cigs. Deduce what you will.

Though they were on the guest list, I did NOT meet nocodeforparanoia, ailie, silveriana, or RimRod. More the fool them!

Okay. So now I have named every name and this must needs be said. As a boringly stereotypical heterosexual male, I impartially observe that many of you female noders is fly. And I don't mean that casually. I'm talkin bout Wowzers Jebus What the hell is she doing in front of a monitor all day when she could be fleecing a millionaire HOTTIES. And not just one or two, at least seven. It was all I could do to keep it together.

I stumbled out the door a little after 6, as noders began to hug the hardwood floor by the dozen. I was so hoarse I could hardly speak, but I couldn't stop grinning. So what did I learn? Everything. Peace and joy, people. Thanks so much, and I'll see ya real soon.



EXHIBIT C: (click on "E2 2002")


CORROBORATING TESTIMONY: January 6, 2002 by cahla, Kit Lo, mkb, Deja Morgana, FoxtrotJuliet, and Sondheim.

Your Honor, the prosecution rests. Surely the defendants will be barred from public office and choose a more humble career.