I run a lot. It keeps me fit, challenges me, and I just like doing it.

I live in a city. Not a big city but a complete micropolitan one with normal people in between the ghetto and boonies. I live in an offshoot community made up of smaller, gated communities close to the sticks that is full of golfers driving BMWs and our CDP is made up of over 94% white people. It's not like that's a bad thing, it just feels bland and sterile. Very cookie-cutter.

Running at night in Florida is uplifting. One of my favorite parts about the weather here is you can run at any time of day you choose, any day of the year. At night, less vehicles speed past me (though still a significant amount) and I can get in the zone easily. There's an extra-wide bikepath/sidewalk all along the entire area, too.

Sounds perfect, right?

Wrong, unfortunately. I won't count that one against you, because I didn't present you with all of the facts. See, sprinklers come on sometime between 8pm-12am once a week, often ruining my run.

Under certain conditions, I love sprinklers when they're connected to my house's tap. My house has clean water. These sprinklers spray dirty water recycling fertilizer right in my face and all over my clothes. I try to move in the street but there's hardly any room between the cars and the ditch, so when they fly by me at forty miles per hour I get distracted. I have long hair. Not hippie long, or in my eyes long, more like "I fucked your art school daughter" long. It's curly and like a sponge it will absorb whatever you throw at it. So please stop throwing sprinkler water on it.