Thought I would add my own ten reasons here why I believe in a "God" type thing. It should be noted that I am not ascribing to any one
religion. I call it "
Divinity" but everyone has their own word for what is or is not out there. This also does not mean I neccesarily
worship this "
God"
thingy, but rather acknowledge it's out there somewhere.
- Something out there, is the Most Powerful Wossname: Let's get down to brass tacks. Just going on a power scale, there is a definite hierarchy. In some places it loops, but I think that whatever is The Most Powerful Wossname is effectively GOD... until something more powerful or clever takes it's place. In a beehive, the queen bee is God, until she is replaced.
- Even if a "God" didn't exist, it would be neccesary to create it: Again, let's just be perfectly blunt here... Most people are too simple-minded to find their ass with both hands and a flashlight. They need someone to tell them what to do so that they will be productive and generally contribute something of worth. That is where the "priestly class" comes in.
Let us compare how a conversation could go two different ways.
PRIEST: "Oh, hallo there, you shouldn't do that anymore."
SIMPLE: "Wot? Having sex with all these people each night? Why not, then?"
PRIEST: "Because you will contract diseases and spread diseases. You should look for something more stable."
SIMPLE: "Wot's a disease?"
PRIEST: "It's...where you...ummm... you get sick."
SIMPLE: "It never made me sick before..."
PRIEST: "Well there are these little germs and..."
SIMPLE: "A germ? What's a germ."
PRIEST: "It's this little invisible creature that makes you sick."
SIMPLE: "Right."
PRIEST: "errr..."
(silence for a few moments)
PRIEST: "You're not buying this, are you?"
SIMPLE: "No, squire, not a bit."
PRIEST: "Right... Good morning."
SIMPLE: "Bugger off now, yer nutter."
Now let's throw God in the picture.
PRIEST: "HEATHEN! YOU MUST CEASE YOUR UNGODLY WAYS!"
SIMPLE: "What?!?! What'd I do, then?"
PRIEST: "THOU HAST OFFENDED THE LORD IN THY LUSTFUL WAYS!"
SIMPLE: "Oh, shit!"
PRIEST: "BLASPHEMOR! UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!"
SIMPLE: "Oi!... right you are, squire, what should I do?"
(about this time the Priest gets a really big shit-eating grin and tells Mr. Simple exactly what he should do to get back in good with this "Lord"...
- We are Gods ourselves to other Wossnames: This one always gets some people the wrong way. What I mean is this, to an Amoeba, we are a God. We are infinitely larger than one. We are capable of freezing one, bringing it back to life, splicing it with other things, altering it's DNA, and generally messing with it's world to the extent that we have Godlike Powers over it. The Amoeba, in turn has no concept of what we are... no idea what we look like... no idea who just poked it with a sharp pointy thing and suddenly it has turned blue... all it knows is... well... whatever it is that Amoebas know... The Amoebas, in turn, are gods to the tiny little bacteria that it feeds upon. The bacteria do not "see" an amoeba coming and know they should leave, or stay. They have no concept of amoeba. They do not learn to flee because they simply cannot comprehend the amoeba... all they know is that they are adsorbed...
Let's move up the scale rather than down... it seems reasonable to think that we are definitely not exactly the pinnacle of life in this universe. We might have some concept of this guy in flowing robes and a "pull my finger" look on his face, but in reality, perhaps our "God" is just so much larger, and so differently shaped, we have no idea what it actually is...
...this would, of course, mean that "God" in turn, has a "God".... and so on...
- There's a LOT of Universe out there: I mean a WHOLE lot of Universe. I won't go into arguements on this, I'll just leave it at a quote from Jack Burton (Big Trouble in Little China.
"Now I'm not saying I've been everywhere, or done everything, but a man'd have to be some kinda fool to think we were alone in this Universe."
- No one ever proved that "God" cares: Going from Number One, earlier, it is entirely possible that the "God" at the time neither knows about us, cares about us, or even wants us. For a more detailed arguement, I recommend reading Anselm's Ontological Argument, but from the opposite perspective of Anselm. We are, in theory, the most intelligent species on the planet, and yet the abominations we visit upon our children regularly exceed even the cruelest acts of nature. Why should something even more powerful and more intelligent than us be required to give a damn about us? Because we think He/She/It should? BWAHAHAhahahAHAHahahaAHA!!!
- Midgets and Dwarves: They have shown us that there is something more powerful than us out there and that It has a sense of humor. Please note that I never gave claim or denial as to whether or not "God" has a "Good" sense of humor.
- Because the son of a bitch that left me a goddamn Jack Chick pamplet instead of a tip when I was a waitor, made me believe: Actually he didn't make me believe, but I'm sure his self-righteous skinflint ass would love to think so... In point of fact he made me go on a lifelong crusade against those stupid bits of pulp, and now whenever I see one, I snatch it up and throw it away as quickly as possible or save it to burn. But I'm not bitter or anything.
- Because if I was a God, I'd do the same thing as...er..."God Wossname": See, if I was God, I gotta be totally honest with you. I'd be a total prick. In fact, I can't wait until I get a better machine so I can run Black & White to simulate being a God that is a total prick. After all, God has pretty much been a total prick to me my entire life, seems to have a really good time laughing it up, and enjoys to do this regularly, and she never once has to worry about retribution because she's...well...GOD...
...yeah it'd be good to be The King...
- Did I mention that bastard that left me the Jack Chick propaganda instead of a tip? Yeah, I used to be a waitor back in the day. Christians just LOVED to come to my table... and instead of a tip they'd leave those lame-ass pulp propaganda0 KomiK booKs or one of those cards that looks like a twenty dollar bill till you pick it up, and there's a stupid poem about what money can't buy you...
To the people that do that, you make me hate your God. Me and every other waitor that got stiffed by your cheap ass, you made us believe--YOU MADE US BELIEVE WE HATE YOUR GOD! Because in OUR world, we still have to EAT... Our God Gives Good Tips, not reading material
...but I'm not bitter about it or anything...
- Some things you just can't explain: Despite it all, there are times when things happen you just can't explain. Times when you get a certain feeling. I usually attribute these to gas. But occasionally I'm pretty sure there's something out there, just from watching a cloudscape, or maybe even the way the wind tosses a bit of paper around an empty parking lot...
Anyways, those are my ten reasons... I never said I
LIKED this "God" person... I just believe in It.