Today (actually, drat it, I just realized after creating the node that it was actually
yesterday in Custo Standard Time) two things happened to me that are fairly awesome, despite the day itself being only meh.
At 8:30 in the AM, I reported to a hospital, specifically to the Nuclear Cardiology Unit. Unfortunately, this crew does not specialize in replacing boring organic fluid pumps with cool glowing radioactive ones a la Tony Stark. No; they specialize in a much more prosaic sort of activity, mostly involving needles (ugh), treadmills (ugh), and please-remain-completely-still-for-fifteen-minutes-in-this-uncomfortable-position-sir-thank-you PET imagers. (half an ugh).
I was prescribed a nuclear cardio stress test.
This is actually a fairly interesting procedure save for the fact that it does involve needles, treadmills, and strange things being injected into you that they have to bring into the room in a lead box (hang on, what?) in order to reduce the staff's exposure.
The staff. Yes. Not the person they're injecting it into, oh no.
So what happened that was cool? Well, let's see. First thing came when I asked in an offhand manner, staring with trepidation at the plastic syringe nestled in the radiation shielding: "What's in this, then?"
The doctor, who was a most attractive Asian lady (which was why I was desperately trying to keep my attention on the syringe, because she'd already made me put on one of those frontless gowns) said "Oh! Technetium. Isotope Technetium-99m, to be precise."
This was actually interesting enough to divert my attention from the fact that she had a lovely bottom, currently on display where she was bent over at the waist trying to find a longer blood pressure cuff in a cabinet near the floor. Steady on... See, I've always wondered what the hell Technetium was used for. And now? Well, I intimately know at least one beneficial use!
They injected me with saline to flush the IV they'd put in, then took my blood pressure, then had me run on a treadmill until my heart rate was up to 153 bpm. Then she had me sit back down, took my blood pressure again, and then - ta-daa - injected the Tc-99m into my arm. Then she said "Okay, now go out and have breakfast, drink lots of fluids, and then come back in half an hour."
Dispirited that she was evicting me from the presence of her bright smile and lovely bottom, I nevertheless slunk out of the hospital to find orange juice, water, and a bagel. One of the bad things about this test: no caffeine or chocolate for two days prior. TWO DAYS, people. Without coffee. The chocolate, meh, okay, I sometimes go weeks without that. But COFFEE!?
whimper.
I returned and was stuffed onto a sliding stretcher,which fed me into the maw of a slowly and menacingly rotating machine for thirty minutes. This, I was told, was the PET imager (PET stands for Positron Emission Tomography by the way) and it was carefully looking at where my now-Tc-99m laced blood was flowing.
Hang on.
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christopher Christ on a Popsicle stick, people. Do you realize what this means?
Not only am I now a gamma ray emitter, but I'm doing so because of freaking ANTIMATTER!
Wow. That was a pretty good day.
Unfortunately, I have to go back tomorrow to do it again, this time minus the treadmill. Sigh.