Paedogeddon

Last month the notorious paedophile Sidney Cook was blasted into space to spend the rest of his life aboard a one man prison vessel, posing no further threat to children on earth. But it was revealed that an eight year old boy was also placed on board by mistake and is now trapped alone in space with the monster. A spokesman said "This is the one thing we didn't want to happen".
A Brass Eye Special, by Chris Morris, certainly the most debated program on British television this year. And for a number of years. Noted for duping celebraties, Richard Blackwood, a comedian, said 'Paedophiles can make your keyboard release toxic vapours', as well as explaining that affected children could smell of hammers. But they did get the MP to talk about 'an area of the Internet the size of Ireland', and another MP to say that a dog's eye (on the screen) had been cunningly converted into a webcam.

A presenter on Tomorrows World, a programme about current technology, was convinced to talk about tshirts which could convince children that the wearer was another child, a different presenter discussed the dangers of HOECS games (say it), a distinguished reporter told how paedophiles could manipulate children's bodies through the soft screen of a laptop.

The best quote from 'Paedopeddon', a Brass Eye Special has to be from DJ 'Dr. Fox', who told us that:

Genetically, paedophiles have more genes in common with crabs than they do with you and me. Now that is scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.
and
This is a crab, this... this has sex with kids.
As Phil Collins might say: "I'm talking Nonce Sense", whilst pointing to his t-shirt. Too right you are, mate, nonsense is exactly what's coming out of all of your mouths...

But all these duped celebrities don't show the main thrust of the program - to expose the way that the media jumps on the Paedophile Problem to sell papers or promote their programme. Whilst the program was a perfect spoof of many 'current affairs' programmes, the furore it caused was amazing, and proved Chris Morris' point precisely.

All the major tabloids came out against the programme in their strongest terms possible. Unfortunately, one paper put it on the facing page to a picture of Charlotte Church, a 15 year old singer which referred to the size of her breasts, and another in the same paper as pictures of the young royal princesses (young teenagers) in their swimsuits.

MPs came out against it, the culture secretary, Beverley Hughes, decried it, but stated she hadn't actually seen it.1

Cook'd and Bomb'd used to be the definitive source of Chris Morris foo, but it's been taken down due to legal problems (most of Chris Morris' programs were available in DivX format, for those who wished to see those roboplegic wrongcocks for themselves from other countries, and who missed the broadcast)


See also Blue Jam, The Day Today... 1: Cheers, lj.