I'd like to see
Freud analyze this shit...
My friends and I were playing a game called 'Wedge'. It involves running around in a Quake-like warehouse, dropping down those gymnastic foam wedge mats when you need to get to another spot. Of course, the wedges just appear when you need them, you don't have to lug them around. We had just defeated the University of Washington, and we were being hailed the best Wedge players in all the land. We were even on SportsCenter! Then we went back in time.
Why we did this, I do not know. If I has stayed asleep a little longer, perhaps things would have been made clearer. But I digress...
We were in Washington D.C., although it looked like Harvard Square. And Abraham Lincoln was running for President. Well, the man dressed like Abe, but he didn't really look like him, and no one called him Abe. It was quite a town-fair environment. So, were all scrambling around, and this guy Don, who I don't know, is trying to find the library, because he left a book in there that could change the course of history. So, while we're hunting for this book, we run into the President's wife. She looks like my friend Eileen. She tells us that she's just hanging out, because the President has business in London. We just saw the President, so we offer to take her to him. Puzzled, she agrees.
We go back to the President's house (which isn't the White House), but it's gated off. Somehow, I don't remember how, we manage to get in, but we're cut off by a landing helicopter. Four or five people get off - one of them is David Spade. Must have been just a walk on part, because he didn't say anything. Another is one of the new hires at the place I work. She claims to be the President's wife as well. Together they figure out that the President has two wives - an American one, and a European one. They don't seem to be too upset about this. But anyway, we all go back down to the town square, where we expect the President to be speaking.
Instead, it's my friend Kevin, who is berating the President for the ineffectiveness of the Emancipation Proclamation. Kevin's ranting is in fact destroying the delicate fabric of the space-time continuum. It's almost like that shit from the Langoliers miniseries, except there aren't any of those monsters with razor sharp teeth. It'a almost an animated collapse. Don comes running out of the library shouting that we have to leave. He hasn't found the book yet, but it doesn't matter. So, somehow, we just go forward in time. The world collapses in on itself as we leave.
When we arrive back in the present day, were in this big city, and everything looks OK, except there are no people, and the sky is blood red. Hmmmm. Maybe something we did. Unfortunately, before we get to investigate, I wake up.