On Not Being Scottish
Being A Short Song of Dubious Quality and Questionable Linguistic Puckritude, Celebrating St Andrew's Day
Ah'm no Scoatish, but ma name's Fergus Ray Murray
It's a source ae some wuddrum fae those ah meet
An it muddles matters further
That I'm livin up in E'nb'rgh
An ah dinnae really ken jes whit tae dae.