Channel 5 is in fact, for those who appreciate crap-yet-wonderful shows like Xena, Warrior Princess and Hercules, a great channel. They show the very best in low-grade television. And you've gotta love ideas like Fort Boyard:

'I know, lets make a program which is just like the Crystal Maze only cheaper and with Melinda Messenger presenting, and all the contestants wearing revealing skin-tight outfits... '

And then they come up with 'documentary' serieses about 'the history of sex in hotels,' and have evenings of programmes devoted to nudity.

Genius. I won't hear a bad word said against Channel 5.