Bjork Big Time Sensuality LP
"Do you have a minute for Greenpeace?" they ask me, yes, I do, I have both a minute and money in my wallet, but I have not the desire to stop and talk to you, though I appreciate your efforts.
Is that wrong of me?
Am I supposed to feel guilty because I recognize the goodness of one's efforts but seek neither to emulate or support them? Am I not allowed to do my own thing, on my own time?
Since I was 12 she has been telling me to volunteer.
I don't want to volunteer.
Volunteering is great. It is rewarding, it makes people happy and improves the world. My time is the most precious thing I have, and sharing it makes the world a better place.
I know.
I just don't want to do it.
Because I am a selfish, lazy punk of a kid.
I've volunteered in the past. I'll probably volunteer again in the future.
But now…
Now it is time for me to do my own thing.
I no longer have to fill out college application where I have to say that I volunteered in order to make me look like a nice, friendly, caring young lad. I don't have parents telling me I should give back because I have so much, because I am so lucky.
I am lucky.
I know it.
Thank you.
Thank you random spinning wheel of births, thank you god, thank you everything.
But I am not going to volunteer.
I am not going to give away my money (even if it is a tax break). I am not going to spend even an hour a week meeting with people who have similar interests of improving the world, or showing up to a place] with people who have a genuine need for assistance.
I want to do my own thing first.
I didn't know all the world had to offer.
Now I am starting to see it.
And I want to see it for myself.
I want to explore and learn and learn and learn and explore and experience.
But I can't do it all.
And I can't do it all now.
I must sacrifice.
It is the nature of life.
Compromise, sacrifice, be disappointed, that's what we humans do.
And so that is what I will do.
And I won't feel guilty. And I won't think of the shoulds of my parents, religion, society, or self.
I will think simply of the now. And the future.
And what I am trying to do.
I will volunteer one day. I will do good for the world one day. (I do little things everyday.) I will help out those who want it.
One day.
But that one day will not be this year.
So in the meantime, I thank you for your efforts, but please leave me alone or just don't look at me like that when I say no.