Well, this is a first of all firsts for me. I once got to be the first person to post on the daylog, but this time around I not only was granted that special boon, but I got the extra added bonus of being able to create the node shell. Should I be honored? Perhaps.
But this is, after all, only a daylog, just another addition to the greater nodegel that is E2, bound together by a misasmic and spindly web of other nodes and people, most of whom I have not and most likely never shall meet. Bygones.
I went on a date tonight, the first one in a few months. This is a woman who I have known for a while now, almost two years. When we met, we were total strangers. Unbeknownst to us at the time, we had some other human beings in common- namely, our landlord. We lived in the same house and never even knew it. Well, that's not quite true- we were destined to live in the same house. At the time, I was in the middle of multi-million-dollar negotiations with her landlord for a piece of software I'd created (the deal fell through, and I shall thank myself later for pouring just a tad more salt on that ugly wound). Part of the negotiations was for me to move to Nashville and train the company's tech staff on how to use the software. The company would provide living arrangements during the training process until the training was complete and then I could go on about my business and spend my money from the sale of the software any way I liked. Just my luck that the company lost its primary funding source a week before the contract got drafted- I had already moved into the house when the deal fell through. Anyway... the woman I had made friends with was also a tenant in that house, a sometime-employee of the company I almost made millions from.
So... over the last two years I have been trying to recover from the devastation caused by that blight of a business deal. I ended up staying at the house for a small amount of money per month and this newfound friend and I continued to enjoy a small friendship. Nothing romantic or anything like that, strictly platonic. She is, after all, a decade younger than me and I have absolutely no place in dating someone so young.
Irony: I had a date with her tonight.
It wasn't one of those "Hey, you're cute and I like you a lot. Let's date" kinda dates. It was more like one of those "Hey, you're a human being I can stand to be in the presence of for more than ten minutes at a time and I feel like going to a movie this weekend, but I really don't feel like going alone. Wanna go with?" kinda dates. And that's exactly how it went. We saw "Mr. Deeds" at the theater I work at as a projectionist (it's a side job which allows me time to write.. mostly... and let's not forget the sleep I get to catch up on while movies are playing and I have nothing to do for a couple of hours).
The movie was funny in all the proper places. I even laughed and clapped out loud a few times, which is somewhat of a departure for me as I am rarely so demonstrative at the movies. What can I say? Sometimes Adam Sandler's sense of humor appeals to me.
So we met at the cafe and shared some quiet conversation while I was in the throes of trying to set up a web page for a client of mine. The topic of conversation: her current romantic interests. Ugh. Friend or not, I personally find it to be bad form to talk to a person about one's current romantic interests when said person is treating one to a free movie and night out on the town.
I guess I should add, though, that I have since decided that this young woman is quite fetching and attractive and intelligent and... dammit... she's still too young and a whole other world apart in the maturity department. To her credit, she is totally aware of this and bemoans the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend like myself. Yet again I get to go on a date with a woman who views me as "the unattainable goal, the peak of gentlemanly behavior." When the movie was over, she went right back to blathering on about this person she's interested in, even apologized for it in the car but kept right on talking about it. When we got back to the cafe, she bumped into one of her current romantic interests... guess who she left with not fifteen minutes later? Hint number one: it wasn't me, for here I sit, bitching in a daylog while my date for the evening is off, somewhere, obsessing about somebody she doesn't have the courage to pursue.
"Is this a healthy crush?" she asked me at one point tonight.
Fuck.
I'm either an eligible bachelor or unattainable. Isn't there a happy medium somewhere in there? Can't I be the guy who is "eminently single and available" at the same time? Can't I be the guy who ends up crossing that finish line, last or otherwise?
Being single sucks. Especially when it's by no fault of your own. Even Adam Sandler gets the girl at the end of the movie when he's playing a nice guy. Hollywood has got to stop lying to us: nice guys are lucky to finish last, if at all.