I have moved back into the cabin- a place that is best described as a glorified tool shed which has been insulated and does not have running water. It is small, it is intimate, it is $40/week. The floor is cold and the rest is kept relatively warm by a single space-heater. In many ways, it is a blissful change from the situation I have been living in for the last two years. I no longer must deal with having an over-reactionary roommate and his undisciplined dog and his lunatic ex-girlfriend who can't seem to stay out of his life for more than a week (and who, incidentally, makes him crazy, too). I have washed my hands of that ordeal and have resumed a life of relative solitude once again. And I will soon have 'net access at home, which means less time in public just to get my email and surf the 'net. This makes me happy. For now.
I am still working as a bouncer at a strip club. It is not a job that I like, nor is it one that I intend to do for much longer. Now that I am paying less rent, I am able to save up some money. Once I save up enough money, I will quit the bouncer job and go looking for something more "meaningful"- definitely more lucrative and safer.
I have resumed writing again. I have not touched my book-in-progress in almost a year. It is a slow-going process, but it is one that I feel may be "back on track" now that I have fewer distractions in my home life.
Part of the reason my rent is so low is because I will be using my knowledge of 3D modelling as a way to pay the remainder of my rent. My first "student" will be my landlord. He already knows quite a bit about modelling, but isn't too savvy with it. Once I bring him up to speed he would like to start a 3D-modelling tutoring program/business, with us acting as the instructors/tutors. Perhaps this may work, perhaps not. But it seems interesting and new and a way to apply my knowledge in a constructive manner, so I am pleased to attempt it.
My cell phone is active, which means that I can now receive phone calls, even though no one really calls me. I guess it's a bonus that I can now make calls, too. I can definitely get back into the whole dating thing.
I am currently seeing a young woman... kinda-but-not-really. She is learning the truth of a statement someone from my past once claimed: Crossword puzzles are an aphrodisiac. Through our glib intellectual réparté we are growing closer and more familiar with one another. This is a good thing. I met her 2 years ago here at the café and was instantly attracted, but I lacked the balls to say/do anything about it. Last month she was doing a crossword puzzle, hit a stumbling block and approached me for help- the rest is sorta evolutionary and irrelevant, but nice. She's a cool chick and I like 'er. Apparently she can withstand being in my presence for more than 10 minutes, which is also good. But I find myself wondering: does she only want me for my crossword puzzle skills? My, how far the mighty have fallen... and I wasn't all that mighty in the first place, alas.
I turn 31 this year. I have resigned myself to this fate, not at all motivated to try and avert its inevitability. More gray hairs. More aching bones. More set in my ways. Less tolerance for "kids". Fewer options. More "seasoning". Less time. I no longer expect to ever start my own family this late in the game. I do not expect to finish my book or, if I do, ever have it published. I do not expect to be a celebrated author or visionary. I will not follow in my dad's footsteps, but will most assuredly follow in my father's.
Getting older means that you tend to learn what acceptance really means.