Today, my mom and grandparents came to visit me at
college. It was ok for the most part. I got lectured for what seemed like forever about positive
thinking and convincing myself that I am
successful, professional, attractive, etc, etc, etc. I have a hard time convincing myself of these things when I think about what my grades are going to be this semester...I'm kinda
scared. I'm also scared that
engineering isn't right for me. When my mom and I came back to my room after dinner and we were talking, I just started
crying. It almost seemed for no apparent
reason, but I have all these uncertainties and
doubts that I've been pushing away for a semester and a half that just kinda rose to the top
today. But at least I have a
plan now. Next semester I'm taking a class that if I
enjoy it, then engineering is going to be ok, but if I don't then I need to get
out. So this
summer I'm going to look into another
school that has a fine
arts major, take a
flying lesson, try to find a part time
job as a
photographer (probably in a
Wal-mart studio), and basically figure out what I'm going to do....
Besides which, my grandma wanted me to
date, so now I'm dating and she doesn't like it...I think she wants me to be dating 15,000 guys, because that's what she did. But I don't want to date 15,000 guys..I'm
happy with
one. Besides which, I *can't* date that many guys even if I wanted to...because there *aren't* 15 guys who want to date me.