Here’s an interesting one: at the McDonald’s on Sycamore Lane in Maple Grove a hamburger is 84 cents. A cheeseburger is 94 cents. So, theoretically speaking, that’s a 10 cent slice of cheese that you’re buying for the cheeseburger, right?
Okay. So a slice of cheese at McDonald’s is 10 cents. So what’s my point? Let’s look at the Happy Meals. At the same McDonald’s a hamburger Happy Meal is $1.99. Now get this: a cheeseburger Happy Meal is $2.59! That right there is a 60 cent slice of cheese! You don’t believe me?
Check it out for yourself. You’ll be amazed!
As I was pondering the situation one day, I began to ask myself
what makes one slice of cheese so much more special than the next? What causes that subtle yet ever-present 600% increase in price? Do the normal cheeseburgers get all the reject slices of cheese that have been manhandled or dropped on the floor by inefficient employees? Or do the slices of cheese on the Happy Meals come from the finest cows living in the
Swiss Alps drinking
Evian bottled water and eating the world’s greenest, freshest grass?
Naturally, these questions led me to confront McDonald’s myself. I was on a mission. I wanted some answers.
I repeated to the clueless woman behind the counter what I stated in the first two paragraphs. My reply:
“So?”
“So McDonald’s is ripping off America! I just want to know why!”
“Uhh…I’m not allowed to tell you….”
So there I was, at the center of a national conspiracy! My next intuition was to call the corporate headquarters in Minneapolis. According to them, this is why a slice of cheese is 60 cents:
“It’s that expensive because the hamburger Happy Meal is actually a discounted price across the country.”
Why, then, are the prices for cheeseburger Happy Meals different, across the country? Where does all of this money go? I’m still, to this day, left in the dark, with no answers to show for my deep intellectual struggle. Woe is me.