Return to October 18, 2002 (thing)

I feel like I'm sinking into my chair, which seems to be sinking into the floor. My arms are level with the desk, and yet I feel like I have to reach very far for the keyboard and look high up at the monitor.

Maybe it's the fact that I've been awake for a long time, had three intellectual classes plus a tiring marching band rehearsal before going shopping for 3 hours and then spending 3 more hours drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes at King's.

Maybe it's because I haven't had coffee in over a month and drank over 6 cups in 3 hours.

Maybe it's because I actually had a fully good day, with no fights, no emotional breakdowns, no disappointments of any kind.

Or maybe it's because the realization has finally hit me, after 5 hours of knowing: my brother finally admitted to my best friend and me that he is bisexual.

He was so surprised that we had already guessed it. I thought guys in general (especially gay/bi guys) knew that girls (especially the weird geeky ones) have gaydar? Apparently they don't, because he was almost offended that we knew. I felt offended that he told my parents before he told me. You're always supposed to tell siblings things first, to test the reaction your parents might have. I guess he doesn't trust me that much, as I was one of the last of his close friends/relations (short of my grandparents) to know.

The chair has stopped sinking, I think it's time to end this strange, happy, long day.

Existing:


Non-Existing: