How much Gus could a succubus buss if a succubus could buss Gus?

Every last bit of him.

Gus Wiebel was my housemate/landlord back at MIT. Gus was an ubergeek among geeks; he'd made a tidy wad of cash off a first-person shooter he coded for a local software firm in the late 90s. So, he bought a huge double in Somerville, MA, knocked out the walls between the units and turned it into a big rooming house for his friends.

Gus liked having people around, but he was really shy and introverted. He would sit up in his room at his triple-monitor SGI coding or playing Quake and munching on Captain Crunch and getting very round. People started calling him Resident Weevil.

It was about evenly split between guys and girls in the house, and the number of resident geeks ranged from 10 to 15 depending on who was broke and needed a cheap place for the semester and who finally got sick of the mess and moved out. Most of the people in the house had the social skills of spastic groundhogs. As a result, hardly anyone ever got laid.

All that changed the night of Gus' 21st birthday. Rajiv, a Pakistani grad student who was the most outgoing person in the house (and was really getting into the freedoms the U.S. offered), dragged Gus out to Manray to oogle the goth chicks in their corsets and fishnets. I still have no idea how Rajiv convinced Gus to go out; he must've offered to buy him single malt scotches 'til he was swimming.

While they went to the club, a bunch of us were downstairs watching anime. My housemate Betty had brought her friend Susan by. I'd always liked Betty, but the housemate thing made us getting into anything more than friendship kind of awkward. Susan was this tall, auburn-haired music major at U. Mass. She was screamingly babalicious, but she had no idea of her own beauty. We'd talked before, but the sight of her made my tongue knot in my mouth. I'm sure I sounded like a grade-A doofus. I had no clue how to ask her out; I'd probably get shot down like a hang glider going up against a MIG.

So I sat there in the dark, not two feet from this beautiful girl, pretending to watch "Cowboy Bebop" and "Neon Genesis Evangelion" while all I wanted to do was to lose myself in the green sea of her eyes.

Around 3 a.m. the front door opened. In walked this stunning woman leading Rajiv and our Resident Weevil by their hands. Raj and Gus had that stupid happy dazed look that young guys get when they're a bit drunk and have just gotten lucky chickwise beyond their wildest expectations.

And this woman ... man, Raj and Gus could've never expected to land a lady like her. She was so hot, I expected the carpet to start smoking under her feet. I wondered for a split-second if Gus had bought an escort, but as I watched the lady lead them around like a couple of stoned puppies, I knew that cash was too simple a thing for her to be interested in. The way she carried herself and seemed to look right through you -- this woman was in control.

I couldn't help but stare at her -- and neither could anyone else in the room, I soon realized. Every eye was on her. And she knew it. She gave us all this knowing Mona Lisa smile as she led Raj and Gus to the staircase. I felt myself getting hard; she was absolutely radiating sex.

She was halfway up the stairs, almost out of sight of the living room, when she reached into her handbag and pulled out a handful of small objects in brightly colored plastic wrappers.

At first I thought she had Halloween candy. Then she tossed the handful down to us, calling, "Have fun, kids!" as she disappeared upstairs with Raj and Gus.

One piece of "candy" landed on my head, and I realized she'd thrown us all a handful of condoms. There was a scent coming off the wrapper, the scent of roses, and it made me so hard I could hardly stand it.

And then Susan practically tackled me. She grabbed me by the back of my shirt and spun me around so she could plant this amazing kiss on me. I could feel her nipples had gone rock-hard under her blouse. She was tugging at my tee shirt, trying to pull it off over my head. I helped her, and then she pushed me back onto the carpet, straddled me, and started to work at my fly.

"S-susan," I began.

"Don't talk," she whispered hoarsely. "Just fuck me, Linux boy."

Who was I to argue? I relaxed and let her undress me, and in that moment I realized everyone in the room was getting their freak on. Little mousy Wai-Chen was giving big shaggy Bart a blow job. Paul had got Amanda up on top of the television set and was giving her a tongue lashing she'd probably never forget.

And then my housemate Betty came over; she'd stripped completely naked, and had a slightly mad gleam in her eye.

"If someone doesn't get me off soon, I'm going to explode all over this entire room," she said.

"Well, my tongue's not busy," I found myself saying. "Want a ride?"

Indeed she did.

If this was heaven, I'd be glad to die.

The three of us had mad, glorious sex in the living room all night long. When morning came, we were sticky and rug-burned and sore and very, very happy. I think we'd all fallen in love with each other.

The bunch of us decided to go out for breakfast, so I went upstairs to find out if Raj and Gus wanted to go, too. I found them in Raj's room; Raj was sprawled on the bed, and Gus was wrapped in a sheet on the floor. The window was open, and the woman was gone.

They were sleeping so hard that at first I thought they were in a coma. I was worried they'd OD'ed on something, so I called Betty and Susan. We got them awake, but they were groggy and weak. But happy. Whatever the woman -- they said her name was Lilith -- had done to them, she'd blown cocks and minds alike.

They told us some of it at breakfast. As they tossed back coffee and plowed through plates of eggs and waffles, they told us how she'd gotten them doing stuff to her and each other they hadn't thought possible. She'd shown them positions and nerve points they'd never read about in any book or seen in any porno movie. She opened the doors to sexual secrets mortals were not meant to know.

As mind-blowing as my night with Betty and Susan had been, I have to say I was still envious. Even though I could see she'd taken something from them - their hair started coming in gray after that -- I still wished I'd been the one she'd found and chosen.

That night changed Raj and Gus forever. Their weakness passed after a few days, and after that they started fixing up the house. Out went the junk and trashed furniture; in came drapes and cool rugs and soft furniture and a wet bar. They got decent haircuts and new clothes and hired a maid. And in the space of a couple of months, they had the place rockin' like the Playboy Mansion, with Gus our own Hugh Hefner and Raj the new smooth Sultan of Swing.

We didn't play Quake or PSO anymore; everyone was too busy gettin' busy. Gus and Raj started working on virtual reality sex programs for a different local firm and started making even more mad cash than before.

And me? Well, that night changed me, too. I went from being a loveless tongue-tied loser to a man who gets to keep company with two of the finest women in Boston.

If you see Lilith, be sure to thank her for me.

And then brace yourself for an amazing trip.

If you liked this, please check out Installing Linux on a Dead Badger and Sparks and Shadows. Thanks!