is not as difficult as you might think.
Sure, people say they'll make you eat your words, but your approach should be one of possibilities, of acceptance, of clear-minded Nirvana. The old joke goes:
"How do you eat an elephant?"
"One bite at a time!"
and it's not so far-fetched
. For example, I would start with "an," and move carefully onto "elephant
". Because "an
" is less frequently used than "a
", it tends to taste sour, or stale--like "mold
" and "bitter
" taste, if you've tried them. After that, you should take a breath--sure, the space isn't a word, but if you're eating "an elephant," the space is there, and must be consumed.
It's your decision, after that stale tasting "an", what you want to bite into next. A pro can just wolf down "elephant", but if I were you, I'd try making "Ella" or "fun" my next bite. Not surprisingly, "Ella" tastes like Creole cooking, like greasy spoon food at three a.m., like New Orleans and Chicago and Jazz and silk and singing. If you're a true conoisseur, you'll detect an aftertaste of a happy ending, which is to be expected--you're having the last half of "Cinderella"! Of course it will taste good.
After that, you'd think "Fun" would be no problem, but "fun" is found in "fungus" and "Funnel" and "Funk", so you must be careful not to think about "Gus"--it will ruin the entire experience. After the heady taste of Ella, I'd be shocked if you wanted to barge straightaway into "Fun", anyway. It's tough, but if you've trained well, you will swallow it with aplomb--no, the act of swallowing will be done with the emotion of aplomb! You don't want to actually swallow "Fun" with "Aplomb"--the anagrams alone would give you stomach cramps--"Mob", "Flu", and "Pan"... all at once? You're definitely not that advanced. Where was I?
Ah, yes. When you've eaten "An", "Ella", and "Fun", all you have left is "T". Which shows good planning, because it will clearly settle your tummy. That's what "tea" is good for! Just don't drink it with haste, or you'll end up mixed up, and you could swallow "Theta" along with the "sea", which is bound to give anyone pause--Greek food is bad enough without a mouthful of salt water.
Now, for longer phrases, I'd build up. To avoid pain, one might think starting small is a good idea, but actually, there are some bigger words that are good to begin with. First off, any noun that describes a food you enjoy--"chocolate", "marzipan", "caramel"--is great, and will build your tolerance; the taste is exactly what one might expect. Some words I ate, when I was first learning to eat words painlessly, were
Anyhow, you should get the idea. Once you're further along, try eating "vinegar" (the best you can do is "vine" and "Grrrr"), or even "cyanide" ("sigh", "an", and "eyed" is the best way to go on this one). I'm sure you get the point.
But Remember: the best policy is to watch what you say. You never know when you'll have to eat your words, and even if you start training today, there are some things that are better never uttered, the eating is so painful. Good luck, and eat well!