So I had my worst day of my worst year. And I think it's fairly sure things will get steadily worse from now on.

I got my official diagnosis that I'm diabetic. I'd been expecting it for a while, because I'm vastly overweight and have had no luck getting any weight off. But expecting it doesn't make it any easier to accept.

My dad has it, but he has it well-controlled. His doctor has speculated that he may not even have it anymore, because he's done such a good job of keeping his blood sugar low and staying healthy.

My uncle had it, and he made almost no effort to control it. He kept eating sweets -- my grandmother didn't really understand the whole diabetes thing, so she'd make him a pie -- "Because he just likes them so much." And he'd go over to her house and eat the damn pie. He died several years ago, minus too many body parts. It was a miserable way to go.

I worry that I have my uncle's sweet tooth. And I worry that I'll never have my father's iron will and self-control.

I'm also fairly worried about my ability to lose weight, no matter how hard I try. I've read more research in recent years that says genetics may play a large part in weight loss -- skinny people are genetically predisposed to being thin, and fat people are genetically predisposed to being overweight. Thin people have to eat lots of food and stop all exercise to gain weight, and fat people have to almost starve themselves and engage in strenuous exercise to lose weight. And when they go back to normal diets and exercising, both groups tend to rapidly return to their previous weights.

In other words, I got a bad feeling about this.

I'm taking pills now, talking to the diabetes educator next week. I'll do everything I can, because it's still my dream to be the guy who shuts out the lights and locks the door when the universe shuts down -- but I'm bad worried they'll be chopping off my limbs in five years and stuffing me in the ground in ten. Hopefully I can finish Metro City before then...

 

For SuperMegaNodeFestQuest 2012. Shazam! - Category: Daylog