WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! GETTING CLOSER, CLOSER TO OUR SOUL-HERO IN HIS SOUL-MOBILE! YEAH, BABY!
Title: Two-Minute Warning
Release Date: February 2002
Writer: Joe KellyPenciller: Doug MahnkeInker: Tom NguyenJLA Members: Superman,
Batman,
Wonder Woman,
the Martian Manhunter,
Green Lantern,
the Flash, and
Plastic Man.
Guest Stars: Lois Lane.
Bad Guys: Abra Kadabra, the
Titans of Greek myth, and some ugly little
slug.
Cameos: Linda Park.
So what happens?We've got a new
creative team on this book, and it's aaaaaall gooood.
Well, the plotting
is a bit freaky, but I'll forgive a lot for dialogue this juicy. The
gimmick is that we're jumping back and forth between the
crisis at hand and what the rest of the League was doing just before they learned of the crisis, so there are some problems with keeping track of what's going on at any one time. But here's basically what happens: Superman and Martian Manhunter are trying to rescue some ships caught in freak storms and
tidal waves. They're able to get the sailors out, but the giant waves are still headed for the East Coast. Desperate measures are called for, so Green Lantern
lifts Manhattan, saving
NYC and creating a
dropfall to catch the wave and throw it back on itself -- essentially cancelling it out.
But what caused the monster waves? Two
giant monsters fighting in the middle of the
ocean! Well, as Wonder Woman explains, they're actually the ancient Titans of Greek myth, who helped create the Earth and are to re-emerge to help end it. What brought 'em out early? Batman deduces a hidden area that's been knocked out of
synch with our current
spacetime -- he suspects that it's
artificial and has Flash ride a
magnetic pulse missile over there to resynch it so they can see what's up.
As it turns out, it's an
island, crammed full of
mythological horrors and lorded over by
futuristic pseudo-magician Abra Kadabra, who is controlling the monsters with a gigantic machine. But really, a stunt like this is beyond Kadabra's abilities and completely counter to his usual
motives. Suspecting that someone else is controlling Kadabra, the League calls in Plastic Man, who stretches his arm into Kadabra's nose and goes rooting around in his
brain 'til he pulls out some kind of
grody brainslug. The monsters retreat back to the lands of myth, but the JLA worries that the slug wasn't alone...
Cool Moments!There's tons this issue. First, this issue perfectly plays both to writer Joe Kelly's talent for writing
funny,
snappy dialogue and to artist Doug Mahnke's love of drawing
monsters. More specific Cool Moments include: Martian Manhunter literally curled into a
ball as he dozes in his
book-crammed room in the JLA Watchtower; J'onn's exceedingly-
nonhuman shapeshifting; Clark and Lois'
romantic getaway in Japan; Green Lantern, hard up for cash, getting
snubbed by a snotty coffeehaus clerk; GL scooping up
New York City in a giant ring-generated crane; Batman doing
detective work
and handling Wayne Corporation
business over a speakerphone while simultaneously sparring in the Watchtower with Wonder Woman; Plastic Man -- gawd, I can't tell for sure -- possibly talking business with
Satan by phone?!? They better not be looking for some way to dump my pal Plas!!!
Cool Quotes!Like I said before, there's a lot of great dialogue in this issue, not all of it really quotable, since it's part of larger
conversations, but let's see what we can dig up...
Lois Lane, after Clark's JLA alarm goes off in the midst of a
liplock: "Hurry up and save the world, Superman... I'd hate for your wife to get
cold."
Green Lantern, talking to his power ring after saving New York: "So good... Soooo good. You would think 'Replace the
Verrazano Bridge brick by brick' might be a tough command-- but not for you! Noo...
Who's your daddy?"
Batman to Wonder Woman, after the JLA alarm interrupts their combat exercise: "
Beeper of the Gods. No offense."
Wonder Woman: "None taken... Oh, '
fragile mortal.'"
Flash, as Batman starts to explain a plan to him: "You're touching me. Batman is
touching me. I'm going to die, aren't I?"
Plastic Man, rooting around in Abra Kadabra's head: "You know, while I'm in here, I could do something about your
deviated septum! Not to mention your dialogue! Sheesh... You're getting too much bad
Indian cinema, I think."
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