JESUS, martyred King of the Jews.
Three ROMAN SOLDIERS: FLAVIUS, SEXTUS, and LONGINUS.
- A chair
- A spear
- A pile of clothes
- Some dice
JESUS stands on the chair, stripped to his underwear, his arms held out in crucifixion pose. He has been there a while, and his head hangs low, muttering to himself.
Three ROMAN SOLDIERS kneel on the ground nearby, throwing DICE. Next to them lies a pile of CLOTHES.
Yes! First dibs! I claim his shirt.
Really? I'd take the cloak.
Sextus elbows Longinus to keep quiet.
I think it's a magic shirt.
No, I hear he's supposed to be some kind of
laundry mage. Got stuff whiter than white.
Bet you don't even have to wash it.
So he's a magical washerman? That doesn't
sound too bad. What's he up there for?
Politics, I bet. The bleacher's guild
elders couldn't be too happy.
Shame. Listen, why don't we ask him?
The other two make noises of agreement. Longinus stands up, picks up his SPEAR, and walks over to Jesus.
Hey, um, we were wondering about your shirt...
Jesus merely lolls his head a bit.
Longinus pokes Jesus in the side with his spear.
Longinus jumps back a step.
I think that was a "yeaaaaaas".
What if he's messing with us?
Why would he do that?
Well, we put him up there, I bet he's a little ticked.
Hm. (pause) Well, what if they're magic pants?