THE TRAGIC AFTERMATH
Jellyfish Green put his arm around my neck and began choking me as Haruspex, ReiToei, Cloudstrife and his GF Thursday beat me senseless. After that malevolent bit of nasty, they left me for dead but then had the girl present me with the bar tab. Vicious bastards. You'll be hearing from my attorney.
Somewhere in the bloody haze, I vaguely recognized kohlcass, dimview, wntrmute, and darl. They offered no help whatsoever. In fact, darl ordered two more drinks and told the girl to add it to the tab. Dimview looked down at my crumpled form and kept saying "It serves him bloody right. He had it coming." Wntrmute was relieved that my boorish presence was punished. He even asked the Irish lads to work me over again. He'd noticed a few teeth were clinging tenaciously to their original places in my mouth, and suggested that even they be removed from their sockets. Kohlcass kept singing strange ditties and rocking gently. I think she was hoping that initial full-body embrace and the noogie she'd received was just a bad dream. A bad dream... hummmmm...
She did give me a very nice scale model of a Maltese bus. Jellyfish Green came through with a bunch of cool comic books. I had bought presents, of course, American chocolates for the men, stockings for the women, Bush in 06! buttons and Bibles for everyone. It didn't help. Nothing helped as I gurgled in my own bloody breath on that filthy, sticky barfloor and watched them walk out to that godforsaken Indian place next door.
I just lay there for a while, gazing up at the ceiling, thankful that the room wasn't spinning, thankful the pain had stopped, when a good looking pair of legs walked by, then stopped to order a drink. God bless America. I gazed up some Irish lass's dress and was thankful to the gods of random acts of kindness when her big Irish boyfriend stared down and noticed me.
Faith and begorra, the pain started again.
A bad way to see Dublin, from the floor.
Love to you all for a very fun evening. You're welcome to crash at my place any time. This means you, Darl. Kohlcass is a sweetheart. Jellyfish Green, you totally rock, even though you threatened to kill me. One word: Anger_management. You Irish lads are ueber cool: ReiToei, cloudstrife, Haruspex. Hope we get to do this again. Finally, what can one say about the only grownup in the group? Dimview is blonde and blue eyed and cute and propah. What's not to like? :-)