Dad: I hope you don't think you're going out wearing that.
Kimmi: Dad, all the kids are wearing it!
Dad: I don't care, I will not have my daughter out in public looking like a cheap whore.
Kimmi: I am NOT a cheap whore. I hate when you call me that.
Kimmi: This cost me 37 dollars at Victor... I mean, The Gap.
Kimmi: Plus, you should see what Candi's wearing. I look like a fricking nun compared to her.
Dad: Hmm... that's a good idea. Maybe we should send you to a convent.
Kimmi: MOoooOM! Dad's at it again!
Kimmi: Listen, I'd love to chat about my parents' sexual inadequacies, but I've got to run. I need your car keys and $40
Kimmi: Be home by midnite, I promise.
Dad: Car's in the shop.
Kimmi: SHIT DAD YOU ARE WORTHLESS
Kimmi: Mom..... can I borrow the *sigh* van?
Mom: (offstage) Ask your father, dear.
Kimmi: I'm running away and living with Katie!
Kimmi: storms out of the house
Dad: Katie... Katie... Didn't I see her at the strip club?
Dad: Leggy blonde, nice rack?
Kimmi: flips open cell phone
Kimmi: Katie? Yeah, they're being stupid again. I hate my life. Can you pick me up?
Dad: calling out the door If you get pregnant, don't bother coming home! Your mother will kill you!
Kimmi: I don't care -- You always liked Barbie best.
Dad: Sheesh... kids these days. Can't even take a joke.
Kimmi: I'm getting this all down in my diary. You'll pay.
Dad: (yelling over TV) since when were you allergic to dairy?
Kimmi: (into the cell phone) Katie, get here quick. I'm losing it.
Dad: Don't forget your tampons! Oh, and your acne cream! It's that time of month again, isn't it?
Mom: (offstage) You two!
Kimmi: God. I hate you.
Kimmi: I so want to die right now.
Dad: Love you too, dear! Have a nice time!
Kimmi: (sotto voce) Mom, can you hear me? Dad's screwing the au pair!