The remote control is the second greatest icon of male sexual prowess ever created (it bows to the lightsabre). Being in possession of the remote control means that you are the shit; you have the power.
Using the remote control is a skill, bordering on an art. Mastering this skill requires many long, grueling hours of thumb aerobics, as well as channel-surfing rhythm exercises. Females almost never master this skill, which is perfectly understandable, as they have no personal connection to the second greatest of all phallic symbols.
Different models are equipped with various powers. The earliest versions of the remote control are capable of exerting their powers only over a specific type of television; seperate devices have to be utilized for the VCR and stereo system. Modern technology, however, has allowed us to create bigger, better, and more conducive-to-laziness models. With the dawn of post-post-modernism has come the universal remote. Now our skills are complete.
It shold be noted that, no matter what the make or model, every remote control is equipped with a self-fueling cloaking device. This cloaking device is based loosley on quantum physics. As long as you are watching or holding (measuring) your remote control, it is tangible and visible. However, if it leaves your circle of consciousness, it immediately becomes undetectable and non-local. Keep this in mind when you go for your next beer.