I realize that I do not have the right kind of attitude for E2. Nor do I have the time. You guys node here, apparently, because you enjoy the experience, or because you want the experience. I noded here, once upon a time, out of a burning need to communicate, and be creative. Since starting here I have developed friend networks in the real world, discovered the power of blogging (hence, not glutting the daylogs with a bunch of frivolous drap that even I would not want to read years later), and become an art major. The burning need to communicate was replaced by people who would listen, and blogging. The need to be creative was filled by alternative mediums, which I find far more accessable. I have never thought I was a good writer. The only thing I have ever really liked that I wrote was my one dream log, and that was something that came out of a moment of pure... passion? Love? I'm not sure. But those moments are extremely rare... extremely private. And thats not the kind of thing I can rely on for noding here. And besides, at this point in my life, I would rather share such moments with someone in person.
To you, the people of E2. I apologize for my poorer nodes, and hope you like my more informative nodes. I think that wisdom teeth is really good to check out for those who need them pulled, I think my w/u on laundry machines is informative and funny. I think Dream Log: September 6, 2004 is my shining gem. It's over a year later, the crush on that girl is long past, but anytime I think of that w/u and the experience I had, a little bit of that love rekindles.
P.S. I apologize if br tags ever become broken. My homenode is chock full of them.
P.S.s (Or, an out of place continuance of my original message.) I love my bookmarks list. It's content reminds me why E2 is a fabulous place. I wish someone would adiquately fill If you spend enough time with her, you will see the tiny cracks that make her heart glimmer. It's been in my personal nodes nodelet since as long as I can remember because the title was amazing. It has been my long time goal to fill it, but I know that I would rather draw a picture, or paint a painting, or do something else to graphically represent it.
And that admittance, that is how I know I am not going to be a 'good noder' ever again. E2 isn't dead to me, but my desire to node is. A long time ago, when it was new to me and fresh, it was fun. But now... Its just so far out of my realm that I just thought I should officially say that I'm leaving it be. I'll still visit every now and then, like I have for last 2 or 3 years, but I doubt I'll post anything more than 1 or 2 nodes a year, if that. Who knows, in 2 or 3 years, I might eventually get level 2. Heh heh heh.
So long E2. You were good to me.Below this point lies my anscestral homenode. For your viewing pleasure. A good home node, imo, has lots of stuff in it. And mine certainly does. ;)
And then sometimes you realize you are not as close a friend with your friends as you thought you were.Internal stereotypes. Drop them. I'm trying.
Text Formatter Handy handy tool.
Working on a really long node in my scratchpad. All I have left to do is format it and link it up. I have no idea what to title the poor thing. If you have any suggestions on that topic or any critiques in any other area, please /msg me.
Things to node when I get off my lazy arse. If you want it, its yours. Relay For Life along with American Cancer Society. A bug/security weakness in the Instant Messenger program Trillian that caused my buddy list to get eaten and replaced by someone elses buddy list. White Mountains, a range of mountains in Arizona, must remember to do some history and possibly some superstitions. Superstition Springs mountain range, if it hasnt been as well.
The findings page for Cease to hope that the decrees of the gods can be changed by prayer and he built it all for her brought many diverse and interesting nodes to the surface.
Some nodeshells: their teary eyes follow us as if our actions are accompanied by tragic music, every cloud has a silver lining, Fishing for butterflies, and an empty user: inflicted by.
I'm in it for the fluff.
As far as noding goes...
And studying at college.
I am not a very good writer. For that reason, I write few nodes, and I write them infrequently.
For people so inclined, here's my 'personal nodes' bookmark list thing.
- Playing in the shower with a balloon. This deserves its rightful place at the top of my list.
- Somewhere, there's a universe with your name on it, spelled out in consecutive constellations
- The Society for the Practice of Avoidance-Based Time Control (idea). A nice piece of writing.
- How to read to a child. Junkpile pushed this into my personal nodes. There are at least a couple of sentences in there that just... understand humanity.
- I want to write love letters to all of my friends
- Love is more complicated than Quantum Mechanics. I need to read this when I can actually pay attention to what is being said. My skimming of it was interesting, but my attention span was miniscule (seriously, I'm not sure I could have read an E1 node without spacing out), so I'm reserving this as a sort of 'priority bookmark to check back on later'.
- Deals well with ambiguity: a savagely long wu about why boys are not like girls and other things. Skimmed much of it, but liked the ending.
- November 3, 2003 (idea). The Custodian's w/u is basically what the US should do with Iraq.
- This is a nodeshell that I want to someday rescue. You can't have it, it's too beautiful.
- Thousand-word paragraphs give me a headache. So very true. And something to keep in mind.
- Everything is a community. Read it.
- questions to ask of friends and lovers. Msged the author. "Beautiful."
- You can do anything. Read.
- The Fog of War. A movie that the node convinced me to see.
- How can vitality be achieved in figure painting? Gotta try this out someday.
- Secret of New York City (Pint). Wow. Totally know the feeling. And I think I sometimes do this on AIM... well, not the cursing at people part...
- Editor Log: February 2005. More or less the ultimate guidelines for writing poetry on E2 (or even elsewhere!).
- April 11, 2004. Iceowl's node may be where my first C! goes, should I get to that point in my everything career.
- You tasted like a gumdrop, lemon lime. I... I really liked it. 9/10/04
- January 6, 2003. LarvalStage's writeup is awesome.
- I am uglier than you imagine. A look inside us all, at times...
- just to have some human contact. JayBonci's in particular.
- A Wrinkle in Time. It seems I read this book early in my life time. Far too early to have any concept of when I read it, why I read it, or just generally be able to place it in relation to any events in my life. But now, it seems to me, after reading this node, that reading this story as early in my life as I did had a profound effect on my outlook on life. Maybe I dont believe in some maleavolent evil force trying to take over the universe, but what I do believe in is hope. I believe that if we don't stand up for our hope, that if we don't act on it, we leave ourselves to our own demise. The failure of hope invites the success of that which we hope against.
Friday, December 31, 2004. Around 3 am.
LeoDV Dear E2. I found a rerun of Chicago by the way, so I've got my entertainment dose right. Love, LeoDV.
face Dear LeoDV: Musicals often depress me. I wonder if a musical has ever spontaneously erupted in a naturalistic setting? Perhaps in actor's schools, but that's not that natural. On a construction site? Anyway, enjoy. Yours, e2.
CrAzE Dear IMDB, I think I have been getting your mail. Yours, Patrick.
LeoDV Dear E2. Must be hard to be a bodiless mind with so many nodes about sex stored inside you. Love, LDV.
face Dear LeoDV: Funny you should mention that. Somehow, the more sexual nodes get stored inside of me, the less of a person I become. There might be a lesson here, but probably there is not. Maxims disappear when you look at them too hard. Yours, e2.
Eidolos What is this, the post office?
face Dear Eidolos: That doesn't make quite enough sense to be funny. You'll understand when you're older. Keep aging! Yours, e2.
LeoDV Dear E2. If your Maxims are gone, it's probably because your little brother took them for late night entertainment. Yours, LDV.
Eidolos Dear visage: It's 5:38AM. All semblance of funny is lost on me right now. Yours, Ei.
Gorgonzola hands jaubertmoniker a bottle of cough syrup.
jaubertmoniker surely you mean bourbon
Gorgonzola There's a difference?
sam512 Ah, E2, where everyone's quite capable of holding intelligent conversations, but this is why they never can.
Be Aware, gentle noder, that nothing below this point has been paid much attention to by me since before April, 2004. Pay whatever heed you want to it. I'm too busy to rewrite, erase, do whatever, to it all. Plus I'm a packrat who believes you can learn a lot about people from what they have lying around. (Which really explains why I should clean up. Alas, packrat = procrastinator = lazy)
Bellow are my bookmarks. I bookmarked people because someday I will return to their homenodes. I bookmarked other things because I liked them, or because they are nodeshells that I might visit myself upon someday.
This is something I've been thinking for a long time...
Quotes! HenryBok The bell has gone the library is filling I must go scare small children.
tkeiser Spring Break is the convergence of the time needed to do things with the complete apathy thereof.
"In a sense I am not really looking at anything, but avoiding looking, so I can better see what I want to say, how it is that I want to reflect." - Templeton - Sometimes I actually don't mind having the slowest modem in the world
I leave this as something to return to when I have the time to decide if it really is what I believe in.TheDeadGuy defined what I believe in in ways I never thought about before. And while I dont necessarily believe in the Rancho Nuevo bit, as TheDeadGuy put it, "Remember, the most important thing is that the theology is irrelevant, the message has always been the same, the message is what matters." The tenets of what I believe in:
- Give everything you can to everyone you know. Love without seeking a return on investment.
- You are right about where you will go when you die. Your soul will judge you and you will go where your soul really believes you deserve to go.
- For my Christian friends who may be worried about me: If you believe that you cannot be worthy of judging yourself without having accepted Jesus, so be it. You will know whether you have truly accepted Jesus. I do not need to accept The Savior, for in my heart, I already have.