In somewhat of a contrast - yet a little comparable - to my remarks in yesterday's
daylog, I want to say a couple things. I won't keep you from your noding duties, though. Worry not,
dear heart.
After much conversing and useless babbling, I decided I want to attend a noder gathering. As I write, there's a few people at Wonko's Place, doing whatever it is they're doing. My realization is a fairly simple one: I want to do whatever it is they're doing! I want to be on a webcam at some noder's house, and I want to act like a fool! I have moderate skill in that regard; you could say that it's one of my strong suits.
While I'm not incredibly social, in that I tend to keep mostly to myself and am for the most part shy around those I don't know very well, I could go to a gathering. Noders would have to be the ones to instigate conversation with me, most of the time. I tend to ramble and come across as a total jerkoff when nervous. ANd I don't drink either, wiseguy, so don't give me any remarks about how drinking loosens the tongue. I'm sure it does; but my liver didn't handle my last significant bender very well. (Perhaps bender isn't the right word, though. Maybe "jag" is better. No, still not cutting it. How about "unholy defiling of one's own body"? Yeah, that's more like it. That's a light, General Audiences sort of response, but it's close.)
You all seem like kind, gentle folk - the possible exeption being that reprehensible tbbk, however. Talented too. There are so many people I want to thank, just for being around, for being cool, for being the coolest thing. You know, I was thinking about the noder gatherings: how often do you see chatters from a teen room in Yahoo getting together to tell stories, to hang out in each other's company? This is truth: and more importantly, there is no huge catalyst, in my opinion, for the noder gatherings. They simply happen, so noder can speak with noder, and say, "Shit, man. I wanted to tell you, that node changed my life. I read it, and I felt real, I felt whole. The tears were so close, I could taste them. It was real, it was everything." The inverse can be postulated, as well, "Man, I read that node I was was laughing my balls off."
Other things: "I admire your work," "It's good to finally meet you!" All these things I want to say to you, all of you. It's strange, you know. I've never felt anything for the pseudo-relationships that transpire on the 'Net. I know that's a term that could tense some shoulder, but hear me out. I've never considered the relationships we made on the 'Net to be genuine, heartfelt things. Just words on a page, I thought. Not now. I've changed. I'm ready. I wanna see all you guys. (And gals. Maybe even especially the gals.)
I won't continue much longer. This node is already longer than I had anticipated.
With that said, I raise my glass - nonalcoholized for my convenience to all of you. I'll see y'all at sometime or another. Whether you're fond of the idea, dreading it, or ambivalent. And if you're not cool with meeting people, maybe I'll be lucky enough to see you in the street, and hand you that pretty flower I found on the way here. And if you're among the dearly departed, I will see you soon. Chances are, you'll whip my ass at pool, too. The following list isn't in any order, and I guess what I'm trying to say is thanks. For everything. If you're not here, don't worry; I'll probably dream about you at some point or another..
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
Again. Thanks.