(log) by artman2003 Tue Feb 21 2012 at 19:06:38

Well, I had a rather interesting experience this morning as I was sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast, I had just taken my morning meds. I am 35 at the time of this writing and it's something that had never happened to me before.

Have you ever taken a gulp of soda that was too big and it hurt as it's going down? Has that even actually ever made you dizzy? Well I did that this morning with my Diet Mountain Dew (The Breakfast Drink of ChampionsTM). There it was, too big of a gulp, pain in the throat like I was trying to pass a large rubber ball down, dizziness, and then I thought it was going to pass, I thought it was going to abate, so I went back to doing what I was doing and

I'm on the floor.

Panicked yelling from the wife and pain on my legs from hitting something was very rudely awakening me from a nap. A nap... on... the kitchen floor. Wait, what?

Yep, for the first time in my life, I fainted. Lost consciousness (in a non-sleep way). What my wife saw as she entered the kitchen was me reaching for my medicine organizing container (presumably to close the lid for this morning's division) and then suddenly falling out of the chair and onto the floor.

As you might expect at first I didn't know exactly what the fuck was going on. Before I even opened my eyes I was awake again, sort of, wondering... you know what, I'm not even sure I know what I was wondering. It's hard to put into words but I had that feeling that I was waking up from a nap, and that I had been dreaming, (there was even a song going through my head as I awoke, it might have been the same song that was going through my head before I passed out) and I was literally being rudely awakened by my wife's yelling and the table leg's insistence on hitting my legs. After a few seconds everything became clear and I said something like "Huh? What's... huh?? Umm, wait, I'm fine!"

I actually started laughing. I thought it was funny. My wife did NOT.

It took me about thirty seconds after getting up to remember what was the cause after struggling to figure out just what the fuck happened. When it came to me I said "Oh, it was the soda!" Apparently this thing about getting dizzy from too big of a drink of soda was something that had never happened to my wife so she didn't understand and thought it must be something to do with my diabetes. I've had to reassure her over and over it was just a freak thing from the soda, that I'm fine... well, fine as I usually am anyway.

Man that was weird.

There isn't much information on that online. Have any of you ever gotten dizzy or felt a pain in your throat/chest after taking too big of a gulp of soda?

Anyway. Time to get back to work. My JQuery and CSS is waiting!

(dream) by Rainey Tue Feb 21 2012 at 20:00:51

I tend to dream rather vividly and rather often. What's strange is that my dreams aren't usually the incoherent mess that most people's dreams are -- they actually make a lot of sense most of the time. I mean, they have the standard inconsistencies like walls changing colours when you look away and stuff like that, but the actual "plot" of the dream tends to be pretty understandable once I'm awake.

Last night was kind of a creepy one that made me think for a bit, but it needs some backstory to understand why. See, I'm a filmmaker who runs a small media production company with my friend James. (The actual story of how we met and started working together is kind of funny, but that's a story for another daylog.) Anyway, mostly this company exists for tax reasons so we can charge people around the area to get videos made for them at low, low prices without it being mad, mad illegal. But our actual goal with the company is to use the money from the commissions to produce our own independent projects.

Typically he'll serve as director and general yells-at-everyone person, and I'll do the little quiet roles that I prefer -- writing in pre-production, editing in post-production. In the actual film industry "writing" and "editing" would be incredibly vague terms, but since we're small-time (more like tiny-time), most of the time they're singular jobs done by yours truly. And I love doing them. That's what made the dream scary.

I woke up slowly, stretching my arms to the familiar sound of loud-ass banging on my bedroom door. My roommate wakes me up this way at least five days out of every week, then tries to play it off as if he needs something from me and had an actual reason for waking me up. It's infuriating, but he's obviously trying to help me maintain a human sleep schedule, so I let it slide. Without him I'd be up until 5AM every single night.

But when I opened the door, it wasn't my roommate -- it was my old roommate, the druggie-alcoholic-homophobe-dickwad who I thankfully hadn't seen in over a year. Since this was a dream, I didn't think anything was out of the usual. He came into my room and did that thing he always did back when we lived together: put on a fake smile, and took a stab at me. "I like what you've done with the place," he said, eying the pile of clothes on my nightstand which I'd neglected to put away the previous night.

Funny tangent: The only time this guy had the nerve to talk to me after finding out I was gay was when he ingested a pile of shrooms right before the fire alarm went off. I couldn't stop laughing at his misfortune. Not mature of me, no, but he was always a prick to me and his homophobia was the last straw that made me start openly hating him.

Anyway, I got mad at him and said a lot of things I'd always wanted to say. He tried defending against me by saying that he'd fixed my computer problems. He eventually left. I'm sketchy on the details around this part; it's part of the dream that I've forgotten some of. After he was gone, James came round, waving a DVD case in my face. He told me that he had a surprise for me. We sat down on the couch and started watching.

It was a fully-realized, finalized version of a script that I've been working on since 2009. This script was basically the script. Not-funny tangent: I once suggested mailing some scripts out to see if any company would be willing to back us financially. This script was one of the scripts I suggested, and James told me quite firmly that I could send out any other script I wanted, but that one was our movie, and he wouldn't want to work with me anymore if I was willing to throw it away. It was a very dramatic moment in my life.

The movie was perfect in every way, and at first I was really happy about it. I enjoy production, but it's really annoying and the idea of having someone produce all my scripts for me without having to stress myself out with actors and shit can sometimes seem appealing. After a point, though, it became so obvious that James would not be capable of producing such a great-looking movie on his own that I turned to him and said, "This is ridiculous. I'm dreaming, right?"

He looked at me with sort of a disturbing glean in his eyes and answered, "Yes." At first I didn't buy it, as if it was just one of those things that you say in a crazy situation, but then I realized that this really was impossible. I pinched myself. The dream became lucid (meaning I could control myself in the dream).

Once it was lucid, the brain fog of a standard dream lifted and I realized just how scary of a situation this was. James made a huge, ambitious project without any help or input from me, my old roommate (by all definitions a moron) fixed my computers for me, and evidently no one needed an editor in any of this. The only way I'd contributed to anything was--

--with the screenplay itself, but for a variety of reasons I've recently been... It was at that point that I woke up. While thinking those things, I'd ran back to my room and went back to bed. When I woke up this morning, I saw that it was nearly 2PM despite my going to sleep relatively early last night. At first I was convinced that the dream really had happened and I'd actually ran back to bed and fallen back to sleep. But that obviously was not the case.

So maybe this dream wasn't a nightmare in a traditional sense, but it scared me. I've recently been stressed a bit trying to get some writing done quickly for a competition, and I suck at getting writing done quickly. I'm the kind of writer who can do a first draft, and edit, but not both. The only way I can edit my own first draft is if I let a significant span of time pass, and I don't have that luxury with most of my projects which have been created thus far. As a result of this, I've started to doubt that I have any skill at all in writing, and this dream reminded me quite painfully that editing and computers are replaceable skills -- or at least they feel that way to me -- and that my only real worth to James or the company is my writing.

So really it was more disheartening than scary, but I still woke up sweaty. Whatever guys, details.

I think I'm going to try some basic writing exercises to see if I can gain new perspective on my own work without waiting a ton of time between writing and reading. Maybe rewrite the script as a short story (or vice versa in other cases)? From a different character's perspective? Anyone have any ideas, feel free to /msg me. I'd appreciate it.

(poetry) by krenseby Tue Feb 21 2012 at 21:27:21
a moment of stillnessthe hands rage in silencea door creaksa spot of light lands in a cornerand dies awaythe cricket in the distancedoesn't chirpno water drop slides outof the faucetto drip down the counteronto the parquet floor     movement imaginedhappens in the mindit sets in motionsome cells or otherbut why do we even botherwhy does the handfor the light switch reachwhy won't it ratherthose eyes teachto see the ghosts of wallsthat their position firmly announceas you blindly into their presence pounce     the pillow's white may brilliantly glitterthe eyelids may with pleasure flittera pleasure idle and tritethe bitter spongy core can't tasteand with the vision's greed defiedfall back blind and chasteand into the pillow's depth glide... (more)
(log) by Zephronias Tue Feb 21 2012 at 21:42:04
I had a weird dream. Among the random scraps and blurred bits of my subconscious' store of What the Fuckery, there was a part where two people who were apparently my friends but I’d never seen before in my life were in my room. They were on the bed, him trying to read, and her giggling at an iPhone. He finally leaned over to see what she was snickering at, then started laughing himself. “What?” I said, going over to see. “What is it?” They showed me the phone. On it was one of those websites that has the entire King James Bible on it. At the top of the screen was Mark 3:11, underneath the words were blurred squiggles. But dream-me could read it perfectly. I started laughing too. It was the greatest pun ever. “That’s hilarious!” “I know, right?” “Gimme the phone, I gotta show this to someone.” So I went and showed the joke to several people: my mom, my sister,... (more)
(log) by Nodeslam Thu Feb 23 2012 at 22:36:00
Format SSHHHIIIIFFFFFFFTT! Like I said at the outset, this is an experiment. It started, like anything, with an idea. When Randall Munroe drew the excellent second edition of his Internet Communities map, he depicted E2 as a tiny island off the coast of Twitter. I feel like that description perfectly captures my feeling every time I come back to this site from "the mainland" after some months or years away from it. I recognize the geography, the architecture, and a few familiar faces, but by and large I have no idea what's going on or who most of these people are. Where to start? IRL, when I find myself for the first time in an unfamiliar city, I pickup a local newspaper. E2 doesn't have one. Despite its userbase of dedicated writers and its big team of volunteer editors, E2 doesn't have any kind of organized, human-written curation on a day-to-day basis. "What if it did?", I thought.... (more)

printable version

chaos

February 22, 2012 February 20, 2012 Ghost It's a Dyke Wedding, Charlie Brown!
Allaying Rachel's fears Dream Log: February 21, 2000 Cricket March 1, 2012
Writing Characters Dream Log: February 12, 2004 Voynich Manuscript mind
March 21, 2012 February 13, 2012 The dirtiest verse in the Bible Faucet
Eyes mayonnaise Everything2 vision
viscera moment Mardi Gras pillow

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