If there's one thing I loathe telling people, it's my career choice. I'm a filmmaker, and without being 40 years old and bearded there is NO way to tell someone that without sounding like either an idiot or an asshole. I can't blame people; ninety percent of "filmmakers" I've met in my life could be accurately described with one of those words. It still grates on my confidence all the time, though.
I'm not some pretentious jerk who thinks he's better than everyone, nor am I a stoner looking for what he thinks will be an easy grade -- I just love making movies. For as long as I can remember I've been obsessed with telling stories, and films have become my chosen medium for doing so. I love screenwriting, because it gives me the freedom to dream up interesting characters and write the thing that I've always been best at writing (dialogue), while knowing that the production crew will craft the imagery for me and do a better job than I ever could. I love film editing, because it lets me rearrange and pace something to my liking, and involves another one of my passions (computers); and, although it'll never be my specialty, I've grown to love the adventurous feeling I get from being on set. Sure there's lots of red tape, stress, annoying actors and whatever, but I still love seeing the crew do what they do. It takes a lot of dedication that I really admire.
Why am I writing this? Because I have dozens of actors coming in to audition this week, and my best editing computer just broke. A daylog seemed like an okay way to vent some frustrations.
The worst thing is I don't even know exactly what's wrong with it yet. I love computers and I'm decently good with them (I built that one myself), but I'm totally stumped. I have friends with degrees in this sort of thing (and many more who might as well) and they have some idea of what could be wrong, but no one can be sure yet and there's a good chance that my computer might be out of commission for so long that I won't be able to start editing the next project early, which means I won't be able to have it done in time for the extremely important deadline that's rapidly approaching.
Hopefully it's just the video card that's broken. I can't really afford a new one right now, but if it'll get this project finished on time I'll just have to make do. I'm still an amateur at this and indie filmmaking rarely makes a lot of money (it has for me in the past, but not with any regularity). I've been trying to find solid work for months now and it seems like there's absolutely none to be found. My wallet is getting thinner and thinner.
Oh well! It's not the biggest deal ever, but I was really happy with the way this project was going and if my dumb computer screws it up for me I'll be very angry at it. Maybe I'll send it to bed without dessert. That'll teach it a lesson.
Update: An hour after posting this, the DC jack on my laptop broke. Now I'm really going to be in the red...