I was watching this movie, one of my all time favorites, this morning, and found myself making quips in my head. This is the result:

• Luke Perry wrecks everything.
• Priests are always hiding something from you.
• If Eric Sierra did more soundtracks, there would be less evil in the world.
• 300 years from now, radio DJs will likely be just as annoying.
• 300 years from now, womens fashions will likely still be much more interesting than, and much less efficient than mens.
• Time is not important, only Life is important.
• There is no missle type bigger than 240.
• If black sludge oozes out of the forehead of the guy standing next to you, worry.
• Having flying cars does not make traffic any easier, only more dangerous.
• Ubiquitious voice-command and voice-synthesizing is cool.
• The Z-140 is DISarmed by pushing the little red button on the barrel of the gun.
• A giant, flaming ball of evil 1200 miles in diameter still needs 48 hours to adapt itself to the atmosphere of the place it's going to blast out of existence.
• John-Batiste Emanuel Zorg is the ultimate name for a supervillian.
• Humans have 40 DNA Memogroups.
• Not really a life lesson, but....Thermal Bandages.....DAMN.
• If you manufacture something from DNA, don't tap on the glass of the enclosure it's in. If you do, you deserve what happens.
• Having a beautiful woman crash through the roof of your vehicle is worth 4 points off of your license.
• "Ecto Gamut" means "Never without my permission".
• A flying junk is the coolest looking vehicle in existence.
• When considering uniforms for your henchmen, look somewhere besides "Leather Hotpants".
• If someone asks you if you are designated as human, the right answer is "Negative. I am a Meat Popsicle."
• Robot bartenders kick ass.
• Space weevils burn real good.
• A spacecraft taking off and sex are metaphorically very similar.
• Space Hawaii is a fun place.
• Aliens make much better opera singers than we do.
• A beautiful woman doing martial arts to techno-opera may not make for classic cinema, but damn is it satisfying.
• Mangalors won't fight without a leader.
• The 5th Element is always love.

Rescued from oblivion by a crack team of node-operatives.