I recently met David. He was reading as a part of the Drue Heinz
Series at the Carnegie
of Natural History in Pittsburgh
. He read for two hours, then signed books
for at least an hour.
I waited patiently in line to have him sign the copy of Barrel Fever, I
was going to give to my grandfather who couldn't come with me. Several
spots ahead of me was a woman who was at least seventy and she had a bag
with three books in it. Realizing that Sedaris must be tired she apologized to
him commenting on how tired his hand must be.
His response was something like, "Oh no! I could go on signing for hours,
but that's what happens when you masturbate as much as I do." The woman
running the lecture series who was standing next to him, had to prop herself
up against one of the columns nearby she was laughing so hard.
When it was my turn, I told him how much I liked Naked, and we
discussed what I was studying and I happened to mention that I read his
latest story in Esquire. It was about David and his boyfriend going to
have their IQ's tested by Mensa in Paris. At the end of the story he finds
out that he in fact isn't a genius, he is as his boyfriend put it, "Think
donkey, then take it down a few notches." I told him that he can't be that
unintelligent, with all his success. He responded with something like, "No. I
really am that stupid. Some days I can't believe I get away with being a