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In my dorm room, my desk and computer sit in the absolute corner. I am sitting behind my lofted bed, hidden behind the stereo, nestled comfortably in the back of the room between two walls. I remarked early today to an
otaku friend who randomly visited about how I would just sit in the corner and type away. It was my place to hide. My roommate just came by about an hour ago. I felt the urge to hide. My corner isn't small enough to hide in.
That's the way I am. I need my privacy. I need to be alone. Pure and simple. I honestly think that's about all I need to be happy, is the appropriate balance between being alone and being with friends. That right there is probably the formula to my happiness. Somehow I don't think this year is going to turn out allright.
Yeah, I wanted a single. No, they rejected me. Yes, I got a random roommate. No, I didn't know them before.
*sigh* I don't know. I want to pretend and believe that I could tell I was coming on an emotional downer, but I've never felt more instantly depressed over meeting somebody in my entire life. It was as if any hopes I had had for finding peace with myself, and my life and finding friends had just dissappeared. Amazingly, my roommate is just moving stuff in right now, and so I am writing this intermittently, depending on presence of said person.
How anybody more the antithesis of me can possibly be rooming with me, I will never be sure. I have a picture in my mind of some
devil in the 4th circle of Hell, the
university housing department, cackling over their desk of brimstone and fire. I see
evil cackling laughter going, MWAHAHAHA! We'll room everybody with their total opposites so that they will have a "learning" experience. MWAHAHAHAHA! Let's see here
{hojita}, you don't drink, or smoke. You are an extremely ethical person. You are extremely emotional. You are fairly eccentric (or at least not university-frat-sorority-generic-college-student-normal. I'm definitely computer geek/dork normal). So, we'll pair you with a standard frat boy, "Hi, I'm your
roommate.
I need a beer."
Several quotes out of my new roommate's mouth:
- "Rearranging your furniture while high is sooo much easier, man!"
- "I'm going to minor in CS so I can be more marketable."
- "Dude, we're going to have such a phat room, it'll be soo sweet dude!"
Not that any of those things makes him a bad person...it just makes him very much NOT LIKE ME. He's not the kind of person I would want to be friends with, nor is he the kind of person I would want to tell anything personal to.
*shrug* I suppose I'm passing judgement early, being that it's only been about an hour or two now, but...I don't know. I'll be the first to admit that I don't know the first thing about my roommate. I think I've seen enough though to know the difference between them and me.
*shrug* I guess I might as well say how I feel now temporarily, and I'll be open to see how stuff works out.
One can always hope for a single...