These people are not my
best friends, but they are friends,
nonetheless. They are people I can go to the party with. They are
faces I can find in a crowd. They are chairs to sit next to.
They’ll do.
It took me a while to learn about myself, I’m still learning, but one true thing is this: I have very few friends. I’m not a social person, no social butterfly, and not free with any of myself. I like to feel safe with my personal parts, I share with one or two people at a time, max. That’s the way I am.
Only, you can’t have a social circle of one person. There are times when you need to go with someone. There a places you want to share, and things you need to see, and not alone. Alone is good, alone is fucking good, but alone can’t always work, and neither can that one good friend, or backup good friend.
These people are not my good friends, but to call them acquaintances is too cold. I never doubt that the foundation our relationship stands on is weak, I don’t expect them to defend me in major conflicts, nor bail me out of tough situations. However, we do share some sort of relationship, and it’s more than just ‘people I know’; they’re friends.
I do not share myself with these people, not because
I am fearful of their reaction. Not at all. They are not,
however, going to have the slightest clue as to what I am talking about (or
why)
most of the time. They do not change my mind, nor
shape my thoughts. I do not spend that much time with them. I frequently
lose contact with these people, I do not
call, write, visit them. But they will clear a seat in the circle when I show up, and they will
wait for me when they are leaving,
and this is why they are friends.
Nothing more, nothing less.