First of all, it was never a question. When I was 12, I hopped up into the front seat, put the car in gear, and pulled it out of the parking space and up to the door of the restaurant, where my mother had walked back inside to get her purse. She fainted. When I was 14, I cut myself a copy of the car keys in a Mission Impossible-like stunt while at the mall, and that very night, quietly raised the garage door and peeled out. I never learned to drive. I just drove. Cars are obvious things.

I was always a nerd, so I get +2 electronics, or something. In addition, I learned to pick locks in prep school. So when the little yellow electric Cushman cart presented itself to me one day, in the tunnels underneath the school, which I was walking through, scoping the place out, I did not hesitate. I hotwired.

Unfortunately, you cannot peel out in a Cushman. However, you do get nice pickup from an electric motor. One thing many people do not appreciate is that no matter how stern or commanding your faculty or staff tries to be, they cannot run as fast as these little carts can drive. I busied myself waving to them as I sped past. In a school with over 20,000 people, there is no danger of being recognized later.

Eventually, they had maintenance drill big looking steel eye hooks into the cement walls, and started a policy of making everyone chain the carts to them. I was usually polite and locked the padlocks back up on the chain after I had removed them.

The problem, really, was weaning myself off stealing the nearest one whenever I was late and in a rush to get to class.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.