Findings:

• Some Jews actually get pissed when you wish them a Merry Christmas
• Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
• We Wish you a Merry Christmas
• Why women suddenly come out of the woodwork when a man gets married
• My people, some of them, have run away to 4chan and have no XP.
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• When I get like this
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• They don't get it. Let them suffer.
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
• Good foods to eat when you first get a tongue piercing
• The city. So many lights you can actually pretend one of them's shining on you.
• Words sometimes get sick and we have to heal them.
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• Internet friends: Abstractions until you actually meet them
• get some
• For when you and your shiftless friends get something to eat
• You sleep with someone for a couple of years, you get to know them by feel
• I know them by the trucks they drive, the names they call each other, the tattoos on hot, shirtless days, the music they blast after lunch, to get through the rest of the day.
• How to get drunk when in Norway
• Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
• Where are all the menstrual huts when you need them?
• Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others
• Some things exist whether you believe in them or not
• Tenchi, go get some more *hic* TEA!
• The feeling you get when you hold someone's hand
• Stoned music memories
• When non-pitchers get to pitch
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• It's hard to get C!-ed when you're a boring programmer
• Don't piss into the wind unless you want to get wet
• When I sneeze, I get cross, and when I get cross I'm liable to do something wicked.
• What do you get when you cross the Alps with elephants?
• Just when scratch pads couldn't get any better... (document)
• We're flawed because we want so much more. We're ruined because we get these things and wish for what we had.
• When did the World get so old?
• I Get Hungry When I Shift
• I'll get there when I get there
• We'll burn that bridge when we get to it
• When did you realise you really weren't going to realize some of your dreams?
• when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• the daisies that died when you picked them
• Keeping secrets from your children may harm them
• Some time when I was a teenager
• you are a comet when you streak close by the radios get weak
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• The Lonely Jew on Christmas
• Merry Christmas
• Except When To Do So Would Injure Them Or Others
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• When in doubt, get horizontal
• Things to do when technology gets here
• Go out and get some fresh air
• When I get mad I throw harder
• The feeling you get when meeting an ex-partner soon after you split
• When keys on keyboards get switched
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
• Koji Gets His Wish
• Why it seems you get good ideas when you're stoned
• Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
• Merry Christmas you filthy animal
• When I Get Low I Get High
• When did everyone get so attractive?
• at least in dreams when shit gets ugly you can still fly and whistle
• Some people feel the rain, others just get wet
• when the weather's good we get the wood
• We get too tense when we drive
• How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• now, when it's nearly impossible to get lost and twice as impossible not to be found
• sometimes when i think about how big space is i get scared
• I like it when I dream of her. It's the only time we get to talk.
• This is what happens, son, when you let your wife's green lung get out of hand
• Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays
• when i get out i'll come and find you cause you're my other half i never told you that
• why I do have to get so deep with people all the time just to gently let them down 2 weeks later
• Some things are True whether you believe in them or not
• Some people can just hold onto the things that really matter to them
• every day she stands there, waiting. every day, she's gone when i get there.
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• it's a pity we only appreciate some once they're gone, when they can no longer defend themselves
• Some Haikus I Wrote When We Went to the Keys
• Let's run away to where the shooting stars fall and meet them when they land
• I will love them all when everyone else is long gone
• She bought a new smile every week when we first started seeing each other. Then I had to buy them.
• When a man lies he murders some part of the world
• God gets pissed
• The Utterly Utterly Merry Comic Relief Christmas Book
• Loving someone, knowing down to the day when you will leave them.
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence
• When You Wish Upon a Star
• Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
• Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
• What is an "online pet" and can I actually raise one?
• The pickup-lines that actually work
• It's all a blank, which makes me think something far far worse has actually happened
• The Portland Oregon Everything Tea was actually a Suicide Cult Initiation!
• Thinking of doing something is sometimes just as bad as actually doing it
• Just great, I'm actually a coward
• It's possible that your religion is actually jealous of God's popularity
• Love Actually
• A consequence of actually feeling
• not actually a poem that has anything to do with pittsburgh
• what we call human nature is actually human habit
• How to make money in the music industry without actually making new music
• More of a knowledge fetishist than actually knowledgeable
• none of us are actually breathing, we are just trying to breathe
• Amazon Gift WIsh List ♥ (registry)
• BREAKING NEWS: TED CRUZ ACTUALLY HUMAN SKIN FILLED WITH COCKROACHES
• Well, actually
• Where to actually reintroduce wolves
• ah fuck. I need to actually develop a plan
• Just seeing that he actually exists
• the title is an obscure reference to a thing, i am actually a guy
• It must be nice, having people in your life that you actually want to spend time with
• The Nightmare Before Christmas
• Christmas
• Christmas Island
• Christmas Tree
• Christmas Vacation
• Christmas driving
• Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
• White Christmas
• Christmas disease
• Chevron on Christmas Day
• Joe Christmas
• Christmas tree packet
• Christmas cracker
• O'Hare Christmas
• RFC 1882
• bring home a Christmas tree
• The Most Embarrassing Christmas Present
• Christ Was Born on Christmas Day
• I Won't Be Home For Christmas
• Christmas Eve, 1996
• Childhood Trauma: Christmas 1989
• The Father Christmas Letters
• Don't force your Christmas philosophy on me
• C!hristmas
• How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
• Rachel at Christmas
• Another Christmas Song
• A Very Special Christmas
• The Twelve Days of Christmas
• Selling your Christmas presents on eBay
• Christmas Dessert
• Surviving the Office Christmas Party
• The 12 Days of Christmas
• Christmas is the same every year
• The Christmas Kitten
• Christmas carols in Latin
• A Charlie Brown Christmas
• Christmas Is Only Good If You Are A Girl (Boy)
• Christmas at the Zoo
• In years past I have not enjoyed Christmas time
• Happy Christmas Chloe
• How I Spent Christmas '89
• Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas
• Christmas Eve on Sesame Street
• Update: "Participate" Poster in time for Christmas (document)
• Christmas Blues
• Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message
• Christmas card
• Office Christmas Card Distribution Guidelines
• Tyranny of anemic white Christmas lights
• Unwrapping a Christmas Story
• Falling through a Christmas tree, or the anti-semitic subtext of Yuletide joy
• French Christmas songs
• Christmas Jingles of Current Events
• Christmas Recipes
• The Christmas Ladder
• Royal Institution Christmas lectures
• Christmas Traditions In England During the Middle Ages

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