Observed side effects of actors*:
  1. Inflated ego,
  2. Unemployment,
  3. Affected mannerisms,
  4. Significant loss of neurons in the frontal lobe,
  5. parasitic infection (also known as an agent).

    * Observations based on four years of undergraduate study in theatre and performance studies, eleven years of work in the professional theatre, and a cynicism born of failing to make a living wage doing so.

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