because your voice by the time it reaches me has been halfway to the moon
because when you read my diary in eighth grade, you cried for five hours straight
because i knew your bookshelves better than i knew you
because when you talk about my future you use the past tense
because i have your nose and your cheekbones
because i feel like i stole them
because you keep sending me money that i don't want
because i keep taking it
because i lie to you all the time
because you tell me the worst kind of truth
because i owe you so damn much
because i don't trust you
because you keep telling me to lose weight
because when i talk it's like burying bodies
because we really do speak different languages
because you're so tired
because you think circles around me or think you do
because you're sometimes right
because i don't buy your bullshit
because you're willing to be taken in by mine
because you can't help it
because i can't help it

when you asked me what i was going to do with my life, i couldn't answer.
i wanted to tell you that i was doing something amazing
i wanted to tell you that everything was going to be alright
i wanted to tell you that i'd visit once in a while--
instead, i told you i was sorry. you asked: what for?
i didn't really have anything to say.

--i'm getting too old for this:
twenty seven years of not talking to you,
and i still haven't got the hang of it.