A mediocre scroll that, when read (and uncursed), causes the next monster you hit to become confused. If the scroll was blessed, the next 1d8+1 (2 - 9) monsters you hit will become confused.


The cursed version is highly predictable in its effect, hence I will not insult your intelligence by expounding at length upon the obvious. Chances are, if you're reading this node, you just wanted the numbers given above anyways, and you're not a blathering idiot who can't draw simple conclusions by inductive reasoning. Every NetHack player I've ever met has been at least halfway intelligent -- heck, if you aren't, you don't get very far in the game.

We could even go so far as to say that stupid NetHack players don't actually exist, because you have to be smart enough to keep your god pleased, dip stuff in other stuff to make new stuff, write your own spellbooks, and identify eggs before eating them.

Of course, if you're playing just by reading the spoilers, then you could be stupid, I suppose. But no one who figures out NetHack on their own (by that I mean, "ascends without cheating") could really be a total moron, with the possible exception of my roommate last year, who did it by playing basically non-stop for his entire first semester.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure he sabotaged at least one of my ascendable games. I came home once after a long night of drunken carousing (actually, I was having dinner with my family) to find that my computer was shut off, a circumstance which should never occur as long as I'm paying my utilities and I'm not upgrading the machine. The aforementioned roommate had finally passed out after a nine-hour NetHack marathon (I'm guessing) and was sprawled out on his bed. I woke him to ask why my machine was off (did I mention he never left the room, either?) and he replied "it started making a weird noise, so I turned it off."

Hmm...I had a level 18 elven wizard, loaded with great stuff, on level 25 in Gehennom...no trace of that game was ever found.

I sort of lost the will to keep playing after that incident. He ascended two more characters the following day, and I gave up for good. I modified the source and made it so his characters always started with tins of rotten Wizard of Yendor meat. Yeah, I got back at him good. Yep...

Never mind. All NetHack players are fools.

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.