Name
satanizer.pl
Purpose
To track down satan incarnates.
Means
Calculating the sum of ASCII codes in person's name.
Usage
  1. Get perl. Copy the code below to a file, and execute it. In unix, with most browsers the easiest way to do this is to just type "perl satanizer.pl" whenever you want to run it. You may also "chmod 750 satanizer.pl", but since some browsers seem to add whitespaces, you must edit the file so that the "#!/usr/bin/perl -w" is in the first column of first row.
  2. Go to http://iki.fi/kaatunut/cgi-bin/satanizer-cgi.pl (not suited for mass processing files, but then again, you likely have perl if you do that anyways).
Notes
As I was doing last research before posting this, I was informed by Shardik in rather nasty terms that the joke about Al Gore and 666 is well known. This troubled me, since I honestly didn't know about that, and because it made me realize this would hardly be the first program for this purpose.
See also
satan incarnate
satanizer 0.1, source:

#!/usr/bin/perl -w

$debug=0;

@number=(666);
$verbose=1;
$quitfirst=0;
$viewnumber=0;
$factual=0;
$listnumber=0;

while (@ARGV) {
    $t = shift(@ARGV);
    
    if ($t eq "-help") {
        print<<END_OF_HELP
Usage: satanizer.pl [parameters] <name>

"Here is the wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of
      the beast; for it is the number of a man; and his number is
                  Six hundred threescore and six"

This program will help you in easily identifying the people who carry
Shai'tan, the Prince of Lies, in their heart through the number of 666.
Just supply the name of person to be examined on the command line and
program will report his true loyalties.

Parameters:

  -number NUM[,NUM...]     Use alternative number(s) instead of 666. You
                           may also supply multiple numbers, in which
                           case all of them will be checked.
  -silent                  Output only matching names, name-per-line, no
                           useless babble included.
  -stop                    In case of multiple numbers, stop after first
                           matching number.
  -list-number             Under -silent, append the number that matched
                           after the name in output.
  -view-number             Report which number the person would match to
                           without mutilation.
  -proper                  Speak sensibly.
  -file FILE               Get the names to be used from FILE, name per
                           line. Further names on command line will be
                           ignored.
                           
DISCLAIMER: If you are offended by this program, I laugh at you. Please
send emails condemning me to hell for blashpemy to kaatunut\@iki.fi, I
will enjoy them.

Send bug reports to kaatunut\@iki.fi.
END_OF_HELP
;
        exit;
    } elsif ($t eq "-version") {
        print<<END_OF_TEXT
Satanize 0.1

(c) 2000, Juhan Aslak Näkkäläjärvi

This program is free software, and is under the GPL license.
END_OF_TEXT
    } elsif ($t eq "-number") {
        @number=split /,/,shift(@ARGV);
    } elsif ($t eq "-silent") {
        $verbose=0;
    } elsif ($t eq "-stop") {
        $quitfirst=1;
    } elsif ($t eq "-list-number") {
        $listnumber=1;
    } elsif ($t eq "-view-number") {
        $viewnumber=1;
    } elsif ($t eq "-proper") {
        $factual=1;
    } elsif ($t eq "-file") {
        $filename=shift(@ARGV);
        open(FILE,$filename) or die "can't open $filename!";
        push @name,$_ while (<FILE>);
        close(FILE);
        chomp @name;
    } elsif (substr($t,0,1) eq "-") {
        print "Unknown parameter \'$t\'.\n";
    } elsif (!@name) {
        $name[0]=$t;
        while (@ARGV) {
            $name[0].=" ".shift(@ARGV);
        }
    }
}
if (!defined $listnumber) {
    if (!$verbose && !$quitfirst) {
        $listnumber=0;
    } else {
        $listnumber=1;
    }
}

if (!@name) {
    print "You need to supply a name.\n";
    exit;
}

for $j (0 .. $#name) {
    for $i (0 .. $#number) {
        my $t;
        
        $ret=satanize($name[$j],$number[$i],\$mutilation,\$t,0);
    
        if ($viewnumber) {
            print "$name[$j]\'s number is $t\n";
            $viewnumber=0;
        }

        if (!$ret) {
            if (satanize($mutilation,$number[$i],0,\$t,1),$t!=$number[$i]) {
                die "satanization failure";
            }
            if ($verbose) {
                if ($factual) {
                    print "$mutilation matches to $number[$i].\n";
                } elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
                    print "$mutilation is the Satan's incarnate on earth!\n";
                } else {
                    print "$mutilation was born to the number $number[$i].\n";
                }
            } else {
                print "$mutilation";
                print " - $number[$i]" if $listnumber;
                print "\n";
            }
            last if $quitfirst;
        } elsif ($verbose) {
            if ($ret==1) {
                if ($factual) {
                    print
"$name[$j] cannot be made to have asciisum of $number[$i] by any currently ".
"used mutilation methods. Try changing non-trivial spelling (ie. letters).\n";
                } elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
                    print
"$name[$j]\'s waveform seems to indicate that it is a human. It might be a ".
"guise though, try changing some letters in the name.\n";
                } else {
                    print
"$name[$j]\'s waveform does not match to number $number[$i].\n";
                }
            } elsif ($ret==2) {
                if ($factual) {
                    print
"$name[$j] has too few non-whitespaces to reach $number[$i]. Try adding some.\n";
                } elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
                    print
"$name[$j] has some satanic breed but it lacks strength.\n";
                } else {
                    print
"$name[$j] has shown potential tendencies towards number $number[$i], but it ".
"has no power to reach that.\n";
                }
            } elsif ($ret==3) {
                if ($factual) {
                    print
"$name[$j] has too many non-whitespaces to reach $number[$i]. Try removing some.\n";
                } elsif ($number[$i]==666) {
                    print
"$name[$j] has some satanic breed but it cannot contain its powers.\n";
                } else {
                    print
"$name[$j] has shown potential tendencies towards number $number[$i], but it ".
"cannot contain its powers.\n";
                }
            } else {
                print "ACK! $name[$j] must be Satan Himself, you shouldn't ".
"see this message ever :(\n";
            }
        }
    }
}
## satanize(name,number,outname,outnumber,short)
sub satanize {
    my($name,$number)=@_;
    my $num=0;
    my $times=0;
    my $lcase_num=0,$ucase_num=0,$space_num=0;
    my($c,$i,@upl,@downl,@spacel);
    
    for $i (0 .. (length $name)-1) {
        $c=substr($name,$i,1);
        $num+=ord $c;
        if ($c eq " ") {
            $space_num++;
            push @spacel,$i;
        } elsif ($c ne uc $c) {
            $lcase_num++;
            push @downl,$i;
        } elsif ($c ne lc $c) {
            $ucase_num++;
            push @upl,$i;
        }
    }
    
    ${$_[3]}=$num if $viewnumber || $_[4];
    return $num if $_[4];

    if ($num==$number) {
        ${$_[2]}=$name;
        return 0;
    }
    
    if ((abs($number-$num) % abs(ord('a')-ord('A')))) {
        print "nondivisible\n" if $debug;
        return 1;       # not divisible
    }
    $times=($number-$num)/abs(ord('a')-ord('A'));
    if (($times<0 && (-$times)>($lcase_num+$space_num)) ||
        ($times>0 && $times>$ucase_num)) {
        print "not enough space: $times transformations needed\n" if $debug;
        return 2 if $times>0;
        return 3 if $times<0;
    }
# capitalizing rule: find existing capitalized points and start adding to them
# decapitalizing rule: drop capitalized letters randomly
# spacing rule: remove random spaces after everything is capitalized
    ${$_[2]}=$name;
    if ($times<0) {  # Capitalize
        my $p=0;
        if (!@upl || $upl[0]!=0) {
            splice @upl,0,0,-1;
        }
        print "capitalize $times times\n" if $debug;
        while ($times && @upl) {
            do {
                $upl[$p]++;
                if ($upl[$p]>=(length ${$_[2]})
                    || (substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)
                        ne lc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1))) {
# kill this pointer (and move to next in row):
# at the end of string or at ucase character
                    print "kill pointer $p at $upl[$p]\n" if $debug;
                    splice @upl,$p,1;
                    if (@upl) {
                        $p=0 if $p > $#upl;
                        redo;
                    } else {
                        print "break\n" if $debug;
                        last;
                    }
                } elsif (substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)
                        eq uc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)) {
# ignore: uppercase or special character-
# but uppercase was checked above so spec char
                    redo;
                }
            } while (0);
            last if not @upl;
            substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)=uc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1);
            print "  =>${$_[2]}\n" if $debug;
            $p++;
            $p=0 if $p>=@upl;
            print "p now: $p\n" if $debug;
            $times++;
        }
        if ($times) {   # time to remove some spaces!
            my @kill_list;
            while ($times) {
                $p=int rand @spacel;
                push @kill_list,$spacel[$p];
                splice @spacel,$p,1;
                $times++;
            }
            @kill_list=reverse sort @kill_list;
            print "kill ".@kill_list." spaces\n" if $debug;
            for $i (0 .. $#kill_list) {
                substr(${$_[2]},$kill_list[$i],1)="";
            }
        }
        return 0;
    } else {
        my $p;
        print "decapitalize $times times\n" if $debug;
        while ($times) {
            $p=int rand @upl;
            substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1)=lc substr(${$_[2]},$upl[$p],1);
            splice @upl,$p,1;
            $times--;
        }
        return 0;
    }
    print "bug- shouldn't be here\n";
    return 100;
}

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