DYNAMITE DAN: Wow, okay, long-time editor, first-time god on the line. Let's give a welcome to kthejoker.
KTHEJOKER: H - Hello.
DAN: So, kthejoker. They've just handed you the keys to the kingdom. Full access to the buttons and switches that control just about everything on everything. Should we expect a Guest User nuking under your belt sometime soon?
KTHEJOKER: Well, now, I wouldn't go that far. I mean, I did add the ability to reply to messages from Cool Man Eddie ...
DAN: Uh huh ...
KTHEJOKER: And I added an "Archive All" button to Message Inbox.
DAN: Sure ...
KTHEJOKER: And I added a new user preference to hide the room topic completely.
DAN: Right, right. But we were going more for something, a bit - spicier. You know, locking out nate and declaring jihad, or at the very least, adding the word "fart" to the end of every private message.
KTHEJOKER: Oh no, nothing like that. I mean, never -
A farting sound effect interrupts kthejoker for a full minute.
KTHEJOKER: Well, I mean -
The fart sound resumes, even louder than before.
KTHEJOKER (over the buzzing fart noise): Well, I did add usergroup lists to all of the gods' and editors' homenodes, so other users could find moderators quickly! And I gave editors the ability to create debates at Everything Discussion Directory! And there are plans in the works for user polls, an auto-softlinker, and a feature for Eddie to let you know when something you've written has been -
The fart sound cuts out abruptly.
KTHEJOKER (still yelling): BOOKMARKED!
Awkward silence.
DAN: Well, we're all very proud of your hard work. So, take it easy, and if it's sleazy, take it twice. Now back to our in-studio porn star Mammogramathon. Let's find us some lumps, boys!