That's it. I've had it with those little brats that scoot around on those overpriced folding can-openers known as Razors. The damn things have no real value as a mode of transportation. The wheels are only slightly larger than those of rollerblades, and the energy required to push yourself forward hardly seems worth the effort. But for some cretinous reason, they're the hottest thing since oh, I dunno...Pogo Ball.

And given the average IQ of your typical Razor pilot, I'm surprised I haven't seen more accidents involving these chrome beasts. The best to date happened at my college campus, which is known for being a bit hilly and quite crowded. I was walking along an open hallway that runs alongside our liberal arts buildings when some nameless frat boy sporting his Abercrombie best nearly clipped me as he scooted down the hallway.

I scowled at the ruffian, and glanced ahead to watch the sea of students part for Moses on Wheels. Seconds later, and much to my delight, the moron colided head on with a fellow RazorHead who was coming from the opposite direction. The dorks managed to take down a couple of pedestrians in the process, making the scene all the more visible. I chuckled softly to myself, and noticed several others doing the same as the two buffoons got up and gave the standard "sorry dude" RazorHead greeting before going on their way. As an added bonus , both of them had managed to accidentally collapse their scooters in the process.

These people must be stopped.

Anyone with fifty bucks to burn can get on one of these steel tinkertoys, which is part of the problem. It is a known fact that anything that requires even a minute level of skill to operate becomes an instant idiot magnet. A perfect example of this phenomenon is the Internet. I won't even discuss the implications this postulate holds over America Online. The point is, we now have thousands of mobile idiots polluting our sidewalks and streets. Walking is now hazardous to your health. At any moment, some brat could come tearing around a corner, and POOF! there go your ankles.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Razor Scooters are those small metal scooters that, at least in California, are taking over the streets. They are small, metal scooters, usually with brightly colored wheels that may flash. Fancy models may have brakes, wheelie bars, shocks, and all kinds of other nonsense. I find this fad completely baffling. From what i can tell, Razor Scooters are for people who find skateboarding to be too intimidating, but bikes to be too big, or too hard to use. Sometimes parents buy their kids these evil little things, because they are supposedly safer than skateboards. Kids enjoy doing variations on skateboarding tricks such as the ollie, although it seems much easier on the scooters.

There have been actual cases of big packs of skateboarders beating up herds of razor-scooter-kids - something i'd pay to see. Skateboards are much more useful in combat because they function as a lightweight bludgeoning weapon with hard metal 'trucks'. Its hard to hit someone with a razor scooter.
Unfortunately, the razor scooter trend has even spread to older people, I have seen people on the campus of UC Davis riding these things.

A razor scooter is the physical manifestation of the word Hella

Sharper Image was recently awarded a "Golden Grinch" anti-award by the NLC (National Labor Commitee). They recieved the unprestigious award for carrying those annoying-as-all-hell Razor scooters. The scooters are made at the Yuan Da Metal Factory in China, where workers make 14 cents for every scooter that they make. The scooters go for about 90 bucks here in the states. Boycott the scooters!

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