I had no more work to do. I wanted to leave my sculpture class, along with practically everyone else. The sub was not understanding. "I gotta keep you here for the whole hour," he said.

Now, of course, if I were a Quake player, the first solution that would have sprung to my mind would've been violence. If I played Doom, or Soldier of Fortune, or any such game, than I surely would've brought a gun to school so that I could deal with anyone obstructing my movements the same way I would in the game - by serving up a lead salad.

However, I'm not a big fan of Doom and Quake. I do immensely enjoy Metal Gear Solid, though, and when faced with an authority figure patrolling the room like a soldier, I thought "What would Solid Snake do?"

Of course, Metal Gear teaches us to only kill someone if you can't get around them unseen, so I didn't kill the teacher. Instead, I executed the following maneuver:

Legend: M equals me, T equals teacher, pound signs equal painted cinderblock walls, pipes and underscores equal partitions, and trails of periods and colons denote movement.
    (freedom)        (freedom)        (freedom)  
1.#####  #####   2.#####  #####   3.#####  ##### 
  # |  T  |  #     # |     |  #     # |  M  |  # 
  # |__  _|  #     # |__: _|  #     # |__: _|  # 
  #         M#     #    :    M#     #    :.... # 
  #          #     #    :     #     #          # 
  #          #     #    T     #     #    T     # 
  # (class)  #     # (class)  #     # (class)  # 

As any MGS fan can see, I used the classic tactic of standing to the side of a guard's (my teacher's) path, waiting for the guard (teacher) to walk by, then stepping behind the guard's (teacher's) back and running like hell. Interestingly, my teacher seemed to display the utter lack of peripheral vision and ridiculously limited hearing that are characteristic of the "Genome Soldiers" in MGS.

In conclusion, because of what I learned from Metal Gear Solid, I was able to accurately assess the situation and deal with it without bloodshed.

True story.

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