Polyamory is an idea that has always intrigued me, on an intellectual if not a practical level. As for myself, as some of you may already know, I am spiritually and emotionally wired toward monogamy, but I have an open enough mind to be able to see other options available to other people, as well as myself.

In the interest of curiosity, I lurked in newsgroups, discussion sites, and IRC. I read carefully, absorbing information and impressions steadily. I even participated in an open relationship, although in the end, I found that I was really the only one who was open about anything. Much like some of the things I was involved in, and also the world at large, I found there was an abundance of both beautiful, radiant human beings and also... the other.

Something in the back of my head nagged at me though. I never could figure out what it was. Until I happened upon a crucial piece of information while searching through one of the most comprehensive searchable databases in the world.

From the alt.polyamory FAQ, as noded by Segnbora-T:

'Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof, according to the desires and agreements of the individuals involved....

This puzzled me. According to the canonical definition of the word, I am polyamorous! Yet, at the same time, if I were to go to someone on the street, or even someone intimately familiar with the concept, and say that I was polyamorous with no other explanation, according to the popular usage of the word, they would assume that I was having sex with or would be willing to have sex with multiple, concurrent partners.

Language is a precise instrument. Remember that.

So this is what I decided I was the best way to accurately describe myself, and also strike a balance between the connotation and definition of the concept. I am a creature that loves as fiercely and intensely as anything alive. My ability to love anyone and everyone is in no way determined by my sexual habits, and even though my desire focuses, my heart does not. It never will.

Maybe, one day, we'll all be lucky enough to live in a world where I can say that I love many, and no assumptions would be made or needed beyond that.


This writeup was inspired by an E2 user, whose name I cannot remember, who asked me, "What the fuck is a polyamorous monogamist?"

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.