Since high school I've become increasingly disillusioned about the entire political process. Democracy strikes me as a is a bit of a laugh. Oh sure it's absolutely excellent compared to, say dictatorship or some hybridised form of martial law, but really it strikes me as the lesser of two evils. I don't mean to get angsty or antying, but Jesus H. Christ today's politics, from what I've seen in America, from what I've experienced in Australia - two supposedly democratic countries (representative democracy if you wish to be fickle) politics is riddled with ignoranace and corruption. It's a complete stinkhole.

Unmounting RANT Engine... OK I have long since given up any hopes as resolution (even crazyass resolution), so instead I propose each political candidate or party assemble a 20 man strong ninja death squad of the most fearlessly elite black clad sharp pointy death men that their (dis)honor can buy. Then, instead of the political rollups, ninja can have free reign of the streets1 for 2 months prior to the elections.

The idea is that in these 2 months the small fry ninja death squads will kill and maim one another off using espionage, pointy death sticks, terrorist attacks on party headquarters, espionage and other cool ninja stuff. This will then provide horrific, yet gratuitously real amusement for the populous, who's moral cores have already been so hideously shattered by centuries of bad leadership they won't give a damn.

At the end of the 2 months several parties should have reached some sort of stalemate - the rest will have been destroyed (it seems a bit harsh but they do have 4 years to rebuild an entire ninja team). From there, the political candidates (NOT representative ninja) will enter a Thunderdome-esque... err... dome.... where they will, in a nutshell, kill one another. 2

TWO MEN ENTER. ONE MAN LEAVES. TWO MEN ENTER. ONE MAN LEAVES.

Of course you can have more then two men, it just makes the slogan sound crap.

From there the victor and the ninja team can rule the country with with an iron fist. If they can do it on television, they can do it in politics.

I can see you're not impressed. So I'm going to be frank with you. Who do you prefer:

  • George Bush - Democrat leader, pushing for Christian family values and national security, or...
  • George Bush!!!~~!@#$%$ - hardcore ninja commando cool ass mothafucker who don't take no shit from anybody. All homies who mess wit' him gonna get his asscap bust man!
  • Hey, it was just an idea


    1, 2 We can work out the finer details later! Firstly you must Elect ads for president!

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