Frozen peas, stock, heat, blend.
This is so easy it's a bit silly. It takes barely longer than heating up some tinned soup, but it's made from scratch so it tastes better and you can feel slightly smug. Only slightly, as it's laughably easy.
I won't give you quantities – "some" will have to do.
Chop your onion. If you're cool like me, you can do this really quickly. If not, chop it roughly as we'll be blending this. Slice up the bacon. Don't use too much - it's just to get a little extra flavour. Fry the bacon and onion over a gentle heat in the oil til the onion is soft. Don't let the bacon get crispy. While you're doing this, boil a kettle of water, unless you're American and don't own a kettle or are using proper stock.
Chuck the frozen peas into the pan. Use enough to feed you and the people you're cooking for. Frozen peas are better than fresh. The only reasons for fresh are if you grow them yourself, and podding them is quite relaxing and fun for kids. Pour the boiling water over the peas – just enough to cover them. Bring back to the boil, then simmer for a couple of minutes until the peas are done. You can add stock powder – I use Marigold Bouillon because it's the best, but you could use stock cubes if you want.
Get your stick blender (or hand blender – a thing you hold in your hand to blend stuff in the pan). You do have one, right? If not, stop reading right now and go and buy one. Once you have your blender, blend the soup. Season, and you're done. You can finish it with some crème fraîche.