Like scalpels and tweezers
Go chainsaws and freezers
Amirite?

Clearly I am a terrorist
Unless there's something you've all missed
As Maxwell Smart would say:
If only he had used his talents
To work for the forces of niceness and goodness
Instead of the forces of rottenness and evil

One of the good guys
I've always been
Though it may not be obv'ous
Unless you have seen
I am a right
Peaceable guy
Really
Ninja and scout
Pyro and spy
Nearly

You couldn't be blamed
Thinking I'm insane
"Look lady
The way I am
Is the way I am
If I scare people
It gives me room"

Life is crazy
This whole world is
Some people are odd
But they do the job
Some fear me
'Cos they don't see
The hundreds of nut-cases
Cov'ring their faces
With secret bases
In the oddest of places
Helping old ladies
Thwarting the baddies
And providing amusement
To little kiddies

They cannot have friends
For friends are a liability
Anyone they care about
Is bound to suffer
Because of them
And so it would be cruel
For any of those guys
To have a girl

Scorned by the
Majority
Of the human race
These curious folk
Like egg-less yolk
Take their place
In history

For anyone this describes, don't be ashamed of being different.

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