This isn't what you think it is
I see this shock, this outrage, that someone could coerce another into an exclusive relationship.
I couldn't agree more.
But that isn't monogamy.
I see how much deception goes along with some monogamous relationships, and how much pain that it causes.
That's not monogamy either. That's human weakness and deception.
Clinically, monogamy is the state of having only one sexual partner for life.
Humans are far from clinical.
We're talking about love here, man! We're talking about a force that defies any and all logical conventions!
And I'm supposed to explain this?
Well, I'll be damned if I'm not going to try.
What monogamy is about is trust. About freedom.
It's like a bird that you set free, a bird you wanted to keep so badly, but the one you set free anyway, knowing that the least you can give in your respect and love for this living creature is to let it be free to live it's life, in the way it sees fit. Then you wake up the next morning, to find that same little bird that you loved so much tapping on your window. It's the happiness you feel that, for at least one creature in the whole wide world, freedom is being with you.
Monogamy is the beautiful, happy secret that's so radiant, so joyful, that you can only share it with your best-best-best friend. And knowing that they'll never, ever even think of sharing it beyond that.
It's getting to sleep with your best friend, all the time, and not only is it mind-blowing, but it's never strange, and it never fucks up your friendship.
It is knowing that this person belongs at your side, that they are as much a part of you as you are.
Monogamy is finding a depth in sex, an emotional release, that could never be found in one night's, one month's, or even one year's worth of exploration. It's when exploring this beauty, when deepening this bond, becomes so much more important than merely tasting other possibilities. It's when the deep connection that can be found between the sharing of our bodies is so, so much more deep, more fulfilling, more beautiful, simply because it is with YOU.
Monogamy is when "I", "Me", "You", and "Us" begin to blur together. It is when YOU begin to blur, dropping walls built over the years like so many old bricks in order to open up your most secret depths to this new being in your existence. Because in sharing, we explore. In exploring, we learn. In learning, we love.
Because, all in all, that's all monogamy really is. It's love. It's just a little different, that's all.
It's about love.
Let me repeat that, once again. It's important. Ready?
It's about LOVE!
The kind of love that you just can't share with anyone else. The kind of love that, like a secret, would somehow diminish if it were no longer a secret. And there's nothing wrong with that.
It's just the way it works, sometimes.
And I, for one, think it's beautiful.
8/27/08: Dear God, this writeup is sappy as hell. Ugh. It's a little embarrassing. I'm only keeping it here because it's the only remotely positive writeup in this node. Seriously, people - it's not a bad thing. Stop hating on other people's lifestyles. And I'm also keeping it because I have a total crush on hamster bong and wouldn't want to nuke one of her C!'s. Shhhhh.