Meanwhile, I spent some time listening to some music on the radio. It seems like everything is on the verge of coming undone, like a shoelace. My spirit is real tight that way. I’d like to think that the means I endeavor to achieve is worthwhile, but I don’t know. I constantly wonder about the little bits of my life. The scores of sore and the fleeting wisps of delight confuse me. I want to grab hold of any semblance of it, but it seems like I’m clutching a fist full of sand.
I want to tell everybody that I’m a fake, so they’ll stop paying attention to me, but I’m not a fake and people don’t pay attention to me anyway.
I’m a box full of instead. Instead of this, you can pick something else. Just so you know, something else is just the same as everything else. The box is crumbling too, because of rain and it is made of cardboard. I wish it was different, but it isn’t.
I often throw my arms in the air with a hue of victory, my insides feel great then. I just absorb all my energy back and am proud of what I have done, even though I am very little. I cry with happy and sad after it is all over, per existence.
Often, I walk and the outside feels like a surreal existence. Trees bend with the wind more and the sun often shines too bright. Bugs adhere to my shirt as talisman decoration and I just go. It’s just fine. Time of my life, just like any other moment. Dream deeper dreams, that’s what I always say.
There was a deep blue in me for a long time. I was lovelorn. I loved many girls, but there was this one that I couldn’t get over. It was tough go on account of love and all, but eventually, I found another and love her just as much. I feel sometimes like I’m serving this love and injustice on account of all my love for that blue girl but I can’t help how I felt.
I just try not to lose. I don’t know what this whole life means and often I don’t know what to say or feel. This doesn’t mean I don’t love, because I know I love. I just can’t make any plans on my emotions. I don’t want to lose or miss, or lose because I missed. I figure mostly it doesn’t matter on account that I try. I try all the time and try to not miss the important things.
I’m always ready, so I won’t miss, but lapse is just a fact and I lapse all the time.
Wherever I’ve been, I have a deep knowledge of somewhere else I can be or was. The past and ahead behold possibilities endless. In these possibilities, I find music on the radio and all the things meanwhile in between.