What I am to many of my friends.

I get a phone call from a friend who informs me that he or she is in the doldrums and can use some cheering up. I launch into some absurdist, bizarre monologue that gets said friend laughing. Usually after twenty-five to thirty minutes, I am thanked for my services. "No problem," I reply. "I am your humor whore, after all."

And the phone call is complete.