When you are out looking to meet girls the most important thing to do is to play the odds. And don't do the things that turn girls off. The object here is to eliminate the things that can cause women to eliminate you.

The first thing you should do is quit smoking. Now, I realize that is difficult, but it is a must. Smoking is the one single thing that will turn away women more than anything else. Sure, a lot of women don't care, but some of the ones you might be most interested in will care (I know this from experience).

For God's sake, clean yourself up a little bit. Shave on a regular basis, and don't skip showers. In general you should try and be as clean as possible. No one is going to turn you down because you are too clean, (but when confronted with 2 otherwise identical guys girls are going to pick the one without the taco stain on his shirt every time).

You should avoid tattoos and body piercings at all cost. There isn't much you can do about tattoos that you already have, but body piercings can simply be removed. I challenge you to find a woman who will refuse to date you because you don't have any of these. I also guarantee you won't have to look far to find one who will refuse you for having them though.

You should strive to have normal looking hair. Any strange haircuts are going to drive away more women than they attract. Don't shave your head, but don't grow six or more inches of hair either. Medium to short haircuts will be seen as the most attractive by the majority of women. And no matter what you do, do not color your hair, leave it alone, it came that way for a reason.

Work on that body of yours a little bit (or stop working on it so much if you look like one of those guys in the muscle magazines). Get used to doing a little bit of physical activity, it will be good for you, and will help you build a better-looking body. This works for guys of all sizes.

Do you say the words fuck, shit, and cunt to the teller at the bank? Do you use the phrase "Big Floppy Donkey Dick" when speaking with clients? You don't? Those people aren't even important and you watch your language around them. So why are you spouting four letter words in front of a women that you may someday marry? Curb your potty mouth. This is not hard. My ex-girlfriend Katie asked me six months into our relationship if I ever curse (I curse all the time in front of friends), because in the six months we had been together I had never once cursed in front of her (she proceeded to make me say one, just to see if I could).

Try and buy a convertible, everybody seems to look more attractive in one. (The guy driving the 1985 Chrysler Lebaron convertible is going to get checked out ten times as much as the guy with the brand new Honda). If a convertible isn't a possibility, then at least keep your car clean.

One of the best ways to attract women is to be seen with attractive women. You don't need to know why this works, just trust me, it really does work. Read a book on psychology if you want to understand why it works.

Lastly, you should try your hardest to put yourself into a natural alpha male role. This may require completely changing your group of friends, but it will be worth it. Find a group that you can be the leader of, and lead it. You should also try your very best not to be the least attractive guy in your group of friends. Think about it this way, have you ever been out with the guys, and seen a group of women and said, "Whoa dude, I got dibs on the ugly one!"? Of course you haven't, so don't be the ugly one. Beauty can be very relative at times, a person of average looks will be completely ignored (as far as mating goes), when surrounded by beautiful people, but replace those beautiful people with unattractive ones, and all of a sudden that person has become very attractive. The entire last two paragraphs can basically be summed up by saying, surround yourself with beautiful women, and ugly men.

Now you need to practice a bit of rejection yourself. Stop going for the most attractive woman in any given group. There are several reasons for this, the first is that you are probably wasting your time, she probably has a boyfriend (and is probably horrible in bed, and in relationships, I don't need to go into detail, there are already many nodes on that subject). Secondly, once the "Alpha Female" of the group turns you away, it is difficult to immediately try to pick up the next in line.

If you are shy or fear rejection you should practice trying to pick up girls that are not as attractive as you would like. They are much more likely to be single and interested, plus you might fall in love with one of your practice girls, (like Jim did in American Pie 2).

Don't forget to let me know how it all turns out.

Be sure and continue reading to see a few other great takes on meeting girls from several other people. They are more right than I could ever be. What I wrote here was pretty much a guide on how to meet the girls that I like. Of course, your mileage may vary.
Stay up late. Always carry a lighter. Know five different ways to describe the weather. Laugh from your chest. Smoke a pack a day. Make insightful comments about politics, religion, human sexuality. Plant your seeds. While listening, look at her lips or her eyes. Say things relevant to your mutual interests. Eat three meals a day. Never show illness. Know when to be a wall, when to be a window. Call in sick to work after a late night out with the boys throwing back anonymous shots and swapping single entendres. Military presses three times a week. Bike on nice days. Sell your car. Save your money. Think of the future. Posture is everything: sit tall and relaxed, secure and open. Match her pace but not her step. Offer her a light. Chew with your mouth closed. Show off some muscle. Flaunt what you've got, throw all the rest away. Say just enough to be interesting. Only introduce her to your less intriguing friends. Wear more collared shirts. Convince her you think for yourself, not of yourself. Scars and tattoos will only be cool if there's a story behind them. Learn not to blow smoke in her face. Drink gin. Drink Pabst. Drink Jäger. Drink porter. Have what she's having.

When entering a pack of your quarry, be like the hawk who, once his eye is set on his target, will proceed on a straight path until his goal is achieved. Prepare three final actions to perform should your head be rended from your body. Punch your weight. Eliminate all worries and doubt in your mind. Play eight-ball, nine-ball, cutthroat. Mystery is a greater aphrodisiac than beauty. Dress to your figure in a socially acceptable individualistic fashion. Listen to your music at a reasonable level. Speed, swerve, tailgate. Use your most creative swear words on strangers. Take blows in stride. Never complain. Always sympathise. Don't let your guard down. Nice guys finish last and alone. The asshole is the sexiest part of the bar. Take one day to go to the park to listen to music and watch girls. Shift your perspective to accommodate conversation with interesting women. Meditate along the banks of a river on what you honestly find attractive. Read books with bright covers and provocative titles. Remember what your father toldja: Ain't nobody ever got nowhere in this kind of situation by followin' another man's rules. Smokers attract other smokers, non-smokers have a hard time breaking the ice. Don't for a second delude yourself into thinking this is the most important thing in the world, that (should you fail to hit it off and form a in-all-respects successful modern relationship with fabulous sex, scintillating conversation, little miracles, unwrapped presents, late night phone sighs, pregnancy scares, constellation naming, tantric manuals, five kisses a day, two packs of three a week, these are the good times twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours a day) this is the end, this is your final chance. This is all you get.

Fuck like a punk. Write all the checks you want, it's her body doing the cashing. Show unmitigated cruelty towards your enemies. Mercy is a turnoff. Honest compliments are always whispered. No one you know knows how to dance. Pay more attention to the beat than the body. Be a little cooler than the kids in her scene. Walk slow enough to notice what other people are wearing. Be forthcoming and honest with compliments about her dress and hairstyle. No one wants to dive into a shallow pool. Be inhumanly perfect: save your favorite jokes for an apropos occasion, make insightful comments about passersby, drink a cup of coffee, brush your teeth ten times a week, know easy solutions to common problems, roll your own, talk like a river, supplement your addictions with denial, shoot from the hip, stay on target, never tread on her toes, always send roses, land with your feet on the ground and your head up straight.

Abstain. Take your bike to the train station. Ride to the end of the line. Look no one in the eyes. Leave behind this life. Don't stop until you hit desert or tundra. Forget the language. Carve yourself out of rock, bury your head in the sand and sing one note. Forget about bedsheets, pajamas, tank tops, cotton, lotion, stuffed animals, feather boas, sugar, spice, etc. Disregard your smokes, your gin, your favorite jeans, your right thinking haircut, your ferocious sense of style, your tastes, your restraint. Reenter society and meet intriguing women of varying builds with whom you can hold a conversation. Shame only lies in the misconception that there is a right way to do this. No woman likes the smell of bullshit.

Behold, the power of cheesecake.

I'm not going to lie. Women make me do strange things that I wouldn't do when I wasn't under their spell. But with all due respect to passport, he's wrong. Dead wrong.

The first step to becoming miserable in life is changing yourself for reasons other than your own. You are you. It's as simple as that. You're constantly evolving, never the same person you were ten minutes ago. A pattern of you stays the same, but even as you're reading this, the neural wiring in your brain is rearranging itself, changing with each word you digest. You do not stay constant, the only constant is that you are changing every moment.

But changing yourself to fit into some sort of mold of the perfect guy isn't a good change. It's a negative-sum decision. Consciously attempting to alter who you are in order to meet women is the utterly wrong way to go about it. Yes, you may meet women. Yes, you may end up having lots of steamy, wild monkey sex. But what would the you 5 years ago say about the sellout you?

It's not about conformism, although my argument on conformity touches somewhat on this issue (one which I came up with before reading the eloquent rant by Frisina. This was certainly a case of "all your radical ideas...have already occured to others.")

Years ago, I enrolled at Michigan Tech. I was immidiately advised, in not so many words, "Lower your standards, and strive to be a carbon copy of the idea of a 'good guy' possessed by the majority of women. Then you'll be able to get one of the few girls here."

I think not. I am not changing myself to meet some meaningless and insulting standards imposed by the majority of women. Women who wouldn't know romance if it made them breakfast the next morning. Women who wouldn't know wit if it kept them in stiches. Women who wouldn't know altruism if it...well, you get my drift.

They can have their alpha males, their cookie-cutter relationship. They can have the lies, the cheating, the unhappiness, the bad sex. They can have as much of it as they want. They can keep dating the same bad guys over and over again. I encourage them to.

I'll find love on my own terms. I will be me, and I will do the things that make me me. I'm going to smoke, I'm going to sit in a diner with my headphones on, madly drawing away. I'm going to go to movies by myself, and laugh at all the parts no one gets the humor of. I'm going to drive around in my car, blasting Dream Theater or Tori Amos, and singing along in an extremely animated fashion.

I've gotta be me. I'm perfectly comfortable knowing that I may never meet the woman that will appreciate me for the person I am. It's a bit disheartening, but I know that I won't ever sacrifice personal happiness to become something I'm not.

But if I do...if I find someone who can appreciate my quirks, my flaws, and the myriad nuances that compose me...then I know I'll be immeasurably happier than those who would sell pieces of themselves off in hopes of fitting the ideal. And the amount of fun I've had in the meantime will be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable.

You want to be happy? Be yourself. Don't change yourself for other people. Embrace those things that contribute to your you-ness, live them, love them, and be happy with yourself. Because as long as you're unhappy with yourself, you'll never be happy with someone else.

A good relationship must be founded on utter truth. Nothing less will do. Changing who you are is a lie to those you meet, and worse yet, a lie to yourself.

Or, by all means, ignore my advice. Quit your vices, get your tattoos lased off, cut that unique and interesting looking hair and clean up like a Backstreet boy, strive to get the washboard abs of Brad Pitt, alter your vernacular, go out and buy a car that serves no useful purpose, hang out with shallow women, become a beer-can smashing, wife-beating alpha male with a pack of moronic followers, and then bow down at the Altar of the Vajayjay.

If every guy did that, I'd be in good shape! FOLLOW passport'S ADVICE! NOW, YOU MEWLING CABBAGES!

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